


Star-scarred Hero

by KatherineKrawl



Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013), Hannibal Extended Universe - Fandom, Spacedogs - Fandom
Genre: Adam is confused, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blunt Adam, Boys Kissing, Bullying, Dating Advice, First Time, M/M, Macaroni & Cheese, Mugging, Nigel is a hero, Nigel is not at all confused, Nigel is overwhelmed, Oral Sex, Power Bottom Adam, Smitten Nigel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatherineKrawl/pseuds/KatherineKrawl
Summary: “Why don't you pick on someone your own fucking size,” Nigel said, and spat the remains of his cigarette at the guy's feet before his head made a quick turn to Adam.Dark amber eyes met Adam's, who was still against the wall fighting for every breath, and their gaze met and held for a lasting second.“Oh. Well... I guess youdiddo that.”Attacked by a mugger on his way home from work, Adam Raki is saved by a man with a scar in the shape of a star on his forehead.This won't be the last time Adam is in need of his hero's help......or company.
Relationships: Nigel (Charlie Countryman)/Adam Raki
Comments: 93
Kudos: 609





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will have 4 chapters, all of it already written and ready to go so there will be updates soon!

_“Scream, and I'll cut you.”_

It had happened on a Monday.

Adam Raki had been making his way home after finishing his workday at the Observatory. The journey wasn't a long one; down the stairs, to the right, another right, and follow the road down to the park until you saw the white building with the blue curtains littered with stars and planets on the third floor. 

That was Adam's home. 

Adam had been in a good mood as he walked down the path he traveled up and down five times a week. He had shared a particularly pleasant conversation with his coworker Jonathan about the perfect preparation of macaroni and cheese. But the smile on his lips was cruelly erased when Adam felt himself toppling into a sideway alley when a strong hand yanked him by his arm.

“Scream, and I'll cut you,” a sharp voice sliced against his ear, before Adam felt a blunt press of metal against his ribs.

“W-w-what?” Adam stuttered, feeling disoriented and confused as he looked up into the pale blue eyes of a scruffy and unfamiliar looking man. He was younger than Adam, barely an adult, with a shaved head and crooked teeth. Standing close, Adam could smell a scent he recognized as alcohol.

“Hand me your wallet, you little bitch,” the guy hissed, pressing the blade deeper against Adam's skin as his fingers flexed unsteadily around the handle. Adam winced, fear suddenly gripping him as his entire day rapidly came crashing down around him. 

It had been such a nice day, too. 

Other than the mac & cheese talk, his boss Stephen had complimented him for his improved interactions with people that took the tour. He had told Adam he could tell the therapeutic guidance that had been set up by his new employer, was paying off.

“Good work, Adam. I could use more people like you,” he had told him as he halted at Adam's lunch table. Adam had blinked back at the friendly face. 

“There is only one of me,” he had replied, and had then joined the laughter bubbling around him, even though he hadn't quite understood the reason for it. 

Mirroring was one of his new skills.

“M-my wallet?” Adam now stuttered at his attacker, lowering his eyes to the see the blinking blade against his denim jacket. Sharp enough to push through.

“Hand me your fucking wallet,” the guy repeated, hissing through those crooked teeth. Adam knew it wasn't beer on his breath. It was stronger. Something that made Adam's eyes water.

His wallet was in the pocket of his jacket. He carried it there, instead of the messenger bag he had always carried around. His therapist had told him he had been clutching to barriers.

“But-but it's _my_ wallet,” Adam replied, his hand pressing on the leather in his pocket. He liked that wallet. It was a nice brown and had all the different compartments for his cards. His work ID was behind a little window, and he only had to flip it open to enter the building, like one of those television FBI agents.

Maybe he could just offer to take out the money instead.

“Fucking idiot,” the guy spat, before pushing Adam against the wall he was standing near, and pressing the knife in so hard Adam could hear the denim rip. “Do you want to fucking die?”

Adam's head thudded against brick, and he could feel the saliva hit his face as the guy pressed up against him, chest to chest. 

“N-n-no. No, please...”

He didn't want to die. He just found a nice job, a good place, he had worked hard. What good would it all have been...

He felt his head starting to spin as his lungs tightened in his chest. Breathing became hard, and his eyes started blurring his vision with dark and bright flashes. Panic. He was having a panic attack.

“T-T-Take i-i-it. P-p-please...”

The wallet didn't matter, he decided. Not if he would be killed for hanging on to it.

But the blade of the knife was still ripping at his shirt as a greedy hand started yanking his wallet from his pocket...

And Adam felt the world starting to spin.

“S-stop.”

That's when he first heard his voice. 

“Get your fucking hands off of him, or I will shove that knife so far down your throat it will come out the other fucking end.”

That voice. From beyond Adam's vision. Thick with an accent, deep, and unfamiliar to Adam's ears. The attacker's weight was off him in an instant, and a shuffle followed near Adam's head. Between the stars that burst through Adam's vision, he could see a broad, tall man throwing the smaller guy against the opposite wall, where he landed with a dry thud.

“Fuck off, asshole...” Adam's attacker gasped, clutching his knife as he tried to straighten himself in front of Adam's savior. A man that Adam could now see had ash blond hair pushed back on his head, and a sky blue shirt patterned with orange, white and brown wiener dogs. A half-burned cigarette hung from his lips.

“Give me that, you fucking baby,” the man snarled, as he yanked the knife from clinging fingers. He spun it in his hand, bringing the blade flat against his lower arm as the other kept Adam's attacker in place against the wall. “Why don't you pick on someone your own fucking size,” he said, and spat the remains of his cigarette at the guy's feet before his head made a quick turn to Adam.

Dark amber eyes met Adam's, who was still against the wall fighting for every breath, and their gaze met and held for a lasting second. 

“Oh. Well... I guess you _did_ do that.”

It was odd, almost, how Adam didn't feel compelled to look away immediately, and his own stare lasted long enough to see those amber eyes narrow before turning back to the man beneath his hands. 

Adam's attacker yelped out in pain when the man pressed a hand against his throat, and leaned in closer before he hissed. “But you know you need to get a fucking job and contribute to society, you fucking lowlife piece of garbage.”

The man huffed like a scowling cat. “ _I_ fucking did.”

Adam's attacker nodded his head so quickly his skull thudded against the brick wall, as his hands reached to curl around the other man's wrists. Trying to loosen the grip that wouldn't budge.

The man huffed again. “If I see you again, I'll break your bony neck. Understood, you cowardly little fucker?”

The guy nodded again, and the moment the man dropped his hold on him, scrambled away like a rat in the sunlight. He disappeared around the corner quicker than Adam's bulging eyes could register. The world was wobbling every straight line in sight.

“Fucking toddler thug.” A voice registered near him, as Adam leaned back against the wall. Chest heaving, eyes on his shoes, hand still tightly on his wallet. 

“Hey, you okay there, kid?” the rough voice asked him, as if through a glass against the wall. Adam's shoes pulsed before his eyes. Near and far and near.

Adam had experienced panic attacks like these many times before in his life. In his head, his Father's voice still told him; _“Find your breath. Three seconds in, three seconds out. Do it with me, now.”_

And he did breathe, in through his nose and out through his lips. From his chest all the way down to deep in his belly, just like Dad had taught him.

“Kid?”

The man walked towards him, and Adam managed to find himself steady enough to lift his eyes up. He stared straight into a whirl of thick maple syrup.

“I-I-I-I...” he tried, struggling to find his voice and his calm. 

The man was broad, strong, taller, older, and had a scar on his forehead the shape of a star. His ash blond and gray hair covered most of it, but the tissue was lighter against the bronze skin. He was tanned, his eyes were lined and his cheeks were sharp beneath the skin. In the curve of his neck was a tattoo of a pin-up girl that moved beneath the muscles.

Adam had never seen anyone quite like him.

“I-I'm not a k-k-k-id,” he managed to stutter through trembling lips, as he lifted his eyes and rested them on the star scar on the man's forehead. The shape was familiar. Comforting.

“Oh, fuck me,” the man breathed, an unexpected response, as he looked at Adam, who felt himself blink at the sudden and rude exclamation. “Fucking gorgeous, you are.” 

The man's voice had softened, as had the eyes. Adam knew this, because the words had made his own shift back to the golden maple syrup swirl for a startled second, as the hairs on the back of his neck rose from his skin.

No one he knew spoke like that. No one he knew spoke to _him_ like that.

The man didn't crowd him against the wall, but placed one hand near Adam's head as he leaned himself sideways. “What's your name, darling?” he said, and Adam's gaze stroked back to the star.

“A-Adam.”

He was calming. His breathing was steadier, as were his hands, his knees, his thoughts. He was filled with adrenaline, but no longer with the life-threatening terror.

Distraction helped.

“Fucking Adam...” the man chuckled softly as he shallowly shook his head, and pushed one corner of his mouth up into a crooked smile. The star moved left to right, and Adam followed it with his eyes. He didn't know how to interpret the words, but he didn't think he should do it literally. 

“J-just Adam,” he said, and watched the crooked smile grow balanced. He finally dropped the hand from his pocket, and his trembling fingers hooked in his coat.

“You're fucking shaking,” the man said, reaching out to take Adam's hand as he watched the digits quiver. “Where do you live?”

The touch was strange. The man was a stranger. A stranger who had saved Adam. 

He didn't know the etiquette for that.

Adam didn't snatch his hand away, but used one finger to point at the direction of the park. The smaller, white building on the corner.

“That's your home?” the man asked, following his gaze before he stepped from around the wall - away from the alleyway and into the sunlit street. “Come on, I'll take you.”

Adam found he liked the offer, spoken like a command. The big, strong man walking him home, and leading him past the dark alleyways still to come...

He stepped from the wall with knees still wobbly, and the steadying hand that the man placed on his back was supportive rather than intrusive. 

Adam didn't mind it.

“Fucking infants, barely fucking potty-trained and already running around with knives from their mother's kitchen drawer...” the man mumbled beside him as he gently led Adam along the road.

“If I see that mousy motherfucker one more time, I'm going to make him soil his nappies so fucking severely he's going to leave a trail home.”

They were already halfway down the street when Adam found his voice. His blue eyes lifted, as he pressed a little closer into the steadying hand. “That man tried to steal my wallet,” he said, his fingers reaching down for his pocket, before pressing down on the leather beneath.

“He sure fucking did, darling,” the man beside him grumbled. He smelled like cigarettes and summer. “And I can assure you I despise that kind of cowardry.” 

Adam felt the fingers on his back flex, but they didn't pull back from his jacket. The man's hand felt warm on him, despite it resting over two layers of clothing.

“If you want to pick on a man, pick on the big man,” the man huffed. “That's what I always say.” His eyes were on Adam, studying the side of his face as if trying to witness and understand every crease and pore. Adam saw it from the corner of his eyes as he looked ahead.

156 more steps.

“ _I'm_ not a big man,” he said, scuffing up his nose. He wore his t-shirts a size small. 

“No, darling, you're not,” the man scoffed a laugh. His shirt was a summer-sky blue, and the brown, white and orange dogs were facing to and away from each other in a pattern. Adam liked patterns.

“Do _you_ pick on a big man?” he asked him, feeling the man's muscular shoulder bump against his. This man could fight, Adam knew. He could surely fight big, strong men if he wanted to. Even dangerous men with weapons. 

Adam felt safer, walking alongside of him.

“Not of late, gorgeous,” the man said, his fingers curling around Adam's shoulder with a gentle squeeze.

Adam's hands were steady on his jeans as he flashed his eyes up to the man beside him. “I've already told you, my name is Adam,” he told the man. Those terms of... endearment; they were not something he was used to.

Not at all.

The man sniffed before he smirked, and Adam's eyes lingered on his mouth. “And with those stargazing eyes of yours, you are fucking gorgeous, gorgeous.”

Adam watched the sharp teeth, the twitch of those wide, plush lips, blushing a seemingly permanent pink. “How did you know I stargaze?” he asked, amazement squeezing his voice huskily from his throat, as his head started losing the count of his footsteps. Luckily, they were already here.

Adam stopped beside the porch steps, and the man released Adam's shoulder by sliding down his arm. “Because there are stars in your eyes, gorgeous,” he mused, smiling at him with a brightness that made Adam's chest feel full. Their fingers brushed, before they dropped.

“That's not possible.”Adam replied, a little frown pushing between his blinking eyes. He dared to meet the maple syrup stir again. It reminded him of Sundays.

“Is this your apartment?” the man asked, ignoring Adam's protest as he looked up the white building. A misfit amongst the taller, gray ones.

“Yes. I live on the third floor,” Adam said, watching the tattoo lady dance when the man exposed his throat. His tanned skin was slightly rough with stubbles, and his nose was delicate, if not slightly crooked. Broken, more than once.

If Adam would say his goodbye, go in and up to his apartment, the man would go away. Adam might never see this man, his savior, again.

Adam didn't like that idea.

“I want to invite you in,” he said, unsure of how to proceed. “But I don't know your name and my dad always told me not to invite strangers into the house.”

The star scar on the man's forehead smoothed out when he rose both blond eyebrows. 

“Your dad would be fucking right about that,” the man huffed, and strong shoulders shrugged as a smile bared those sharp teeth. Maple eyes squeezed gently as he said:

“My name is Nigel.”

Adam remembered that an introduction came with a handshake, and he stuck out his hand, relieved that the man named Nigel took it without hesitation. 

Nigel's hands were rough, big but gentle, as the left came to rest on top of their shaking hands - as if holding them together.

“Oh. Okay,” Adam felt his stomach tighten at the feeling of warm, rough skin brushing along his. “Do you want to come in, Nigel?” he asked, directing his eyes to Nigel's nose.

To Adam, Nigel's syrup eyes were harder to avoid than most. They were openly bright and easy to read with lively expressions and no heavy brows to hide behind. Nigel replied with cheer: 

“I'd fucking love to, darling.”

They climbed the stairs together. Adam liked them better than the elevator. Here, there were no confined spaces to share with other people.

Nigel walked behind him, not making any attempts to step beside Adam, but perfectly keeping up with Adam's set pace.

“I've noticed you swear a lot,” Adam pointed out as they stepped onto the third floor. His door was the last on the right. “Were you aware that swearing makes people seem dishonest and less intelligent than their peers?”

Nigel followed him to the door, 3D - which was funny - and inhaled through his nose as Adam unlocked it.

“If that ain't the fucking truth,” he replied, smirking when Adam looked at him over his shoulder.

He wondered if Nigel had understood the meaning of his words. Maybe he _was_ less intelligent. Or maybe he was joking.

Adam wasn't good with jokes.

They stepped inside, and Nigel closed the door behind them. Adam's apartment was light, spacious, clean and organized. There were books on a shelf, a model rocket, a display of the planets in their accurate alignment, and a poster of the Milky Way. 

Things that made Adam happy. 

“Sit down before you fall over, darling,” Nigel said as he gestured to the white sofa. The hand on his back returned to lead Adam into the living room. “You still look as if you've seen a ghost.”

Adam did sit down, still feeling slightly unsteady as he fumbled to untie the laces of his shoes. “I'm naturally pale,” he protested, before placing his shoes neatly lined by the couch. 

He would have to put those in the hallway soon. He always left his shoes in the hallway.

Nigel watched him, leaning against the door-frame with an elbow over his head. “I'm getting you some water,” he said, turning to the adjoined kitchen and shifting eyes over the fridge. “Or something stronger, if you prefer it.” 

Maybe it was the sparks that still flashed before his eyes, but Nigel, with his untucked shirt, ruffled hair and stubbled cheeks, seemed to exude a golden light against the cold, neat colors of Adam's apartment. 

“Orange soda,” Adam said, taking deep breaths through his nose as he watched the tall, tanned man brighten the white walls behind him. 

Nigel laughed, warm and throaty. “That sure is fucking stronger than water,” he said, as he walked to the fridge and bent down to look inside. 

Nigel's butt looked muscular in his jeans as he bent over. It was just an observation, but Adam still felt a flush take his cheeks, and quickly shifted his eyes to the ceiling.

His father had taught him it was rude to stare. Especially at breasts and butts.

Adam heard rummaging through the cabinets before Nigel walked back to the sofa with a can of orange soda and a tall glass in his hands.

“There you go, darling.” Adam felt the couch dip as Nigel sat beside him, opened the can with a blunt nail and poured the fizzy drink to the rim of the glass. 

“Thank you,” Adam said, as he was handed the full glass. A warm gaze dripped over him, as he sipped his drink slowly. With a peek over the rim of his glass, Adam looked at the man with the star on his forehead and the grin of a wolf, all golden and blue amidst his white apartment.

Nigel had saved him today. And Nigel had stayed.

“You stopped that guy from taking my wallet and hurting me,” Adam said, between small swallows. “Thank you, Nigel.”

His Dad had taught him to always be polite. He had never, however, told him what to say when someone had saved you from injury or death.

Thank you. Thank you didn't sound like enough.

Nigel grunted, suddenly disgruntled again as he wrung his large hands together. His elbows were on his thighs, leaning forward. “Fucking coward,” he grumbled. “I don't appreciate that kind of violence. Never did.”

Adam lowered his glass to the table, before glancing down to fumble with the damaged fabric of his coat. “He was about to stab me,” he said, suppressing the fresh rush of squeezing panic in his guts. “I wouldn't have been able to go to work with a stab wound.”

No work, no pay, no house... Adam did not want to move again.

“Jesus, Adam,” Nigel winced, as he rubbed his hands over his hair, pushing it back from his face. He didn't sound angry, but his eyes were large and sad as he turned completely towards Adam. “Look, darling, when stuff like this happens, is there someone you can call?” he asked, and Adam found himself drawn to look at the warm whirl inside those eyes. “Someone you can reach out to when you have a shitty day?”

Adam's eyes lifted back to the star on Nigel's forehead. 

“No,” he said. “My dad is dead, Harlan lives in New York and Beth broke up with me before I moved.” 

He spoke his words factually. Yes, there were people at work that he liked, but when they invited him for a drink after work, he usually declined. 

It was too crowded, too loud, too loaded up with social etiquette and traps that he simply couldn't decode. It was exhausting to him.

He was, as a rule, alone.

Adam could feel Nigel's gaze on him before a heavy hand came to rest on Adam's shoulder. “Life's fucking unfair like that, isn't it?” he said, releasing a chuckle that didn't match the downward corners of his mouth. “Especially for an angel like you.”

Adam licked his lips, tasting orange soda. He blinked, eyes tracing the lines on Nigel's forehead. His hair was gray between the ash-blond, and his eyes were framed by thin creases in the skin. Adam wondered what they would feel like, if he touched them.

“I'm not an angel,” he said, and watched those wrinkles deepen around Nigel's liquid eyes. The corners crinkled. 

“Could have fucking fooled me, gorgeous,” Nigel smiled, his voice a gentle rumble as the palms of his hands brushed over his thighs. “I can already tell you are pretty fucking special.” 

Adam followed those hands with his eyes, and watched Nigel push himself up from the couch.

“And if you're ever in need of help, or company...” he said, pulling his phone from his back pocket, “someone to save your cute little ass from amateur criminals or grab you a fucking orange soda...” 

Nigel's hand reached out to him, as his fingers curled in a grabbing, greedy beckon. 

Adam pulled out his own phone, and placed it in Nigel's palm.

“I usually only drink one with lunch at twelve thirty,” Adam said, and watched Nigel's lips open wide over his teeth as he typed in his number with his thumbs.

“And my butt is not little.”

In fact, one of the ticket sellers at work had commented on how tight his uniform was in the back. _Junk in the trunk_ , she had called it.

Nigel laughed, and the sound was raspy and smooth all at once.

“Fucking fair enough, gorgeous,” he said, “but do call me when you need anything, alright?” Nigel handed the phone back with eyes so bright it made them light as honey. “Even if it's just a back-rub.”

There was that thing people did when they squeezed one eye shut to communicate something 'mischievous'. A wink.

Adam had learned about facial expressions, gestures, signaling... he understood them somewhat better now. 

“My neck sometimes aches after stargazing,” he said, taking back his phone. Beth had given him a back-rub once. He had enjoyed it a fair amount. 

“But I don't like making phone calls.”

He looked down at the screen. _Nigel._ The number and name shone fresh and bright on his display. “We could text.”

He lifted hopeful eyes at Nigel, who licked his smirking lips. “Sure,” he said, brushing a pink tongue over sharp teeth. “That sounds fucking amazing, angel.” 

Adam watched as Nigel glanced down at his own phone and winced openly at the time. “Fuck. I hate to flirt and run like this, darling, but my shift is about to start.” 

Adam didn't ask him any of the questions that arose with the sentence. Instead, he answered all of Nigel's about 'if he was going to be okay' and 'if he would let him know as soon as he needed something, anything', and waved as the man smiled brightly at him before racing down the stairs, two steps at a time.

There was a lightness in his chest, and a stir in Adam's belly as he watched Nigel disappear down the street, looking down from his window. Never before had he met someone like Nigel. Never before had a stranger heard him speak so many sentences, without once questioning his 'normality'. 

Nigel had looked at him with eyes like the sun, and Adam had not felt uncomfortable looking back.

'Please text if you need me', Nigel had said. Adam looked at the new name in his phone, amongst the very few others. What Nigel expected him to need him for, unspecified. 

But Adam had a feeling he would feel the need for Nigel soon.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The neighborhood kids play soccer in the park after school,” Adam said, shuffling his feet against the stone steps. “They call me names, sometimes.” His confession was made to his knees, where his fingers tightened against his trousers. “They think I'm weird.”
> 
> He could see Nigel stare at him from the corner of his eye. 
> 
> “They fucking what, now?” the man said, before his hand reached for the railing of the steps, lifting himself to his feet.

It was Thursday when he saw him again. 

“Hello, gorgeous,” Nigel's voice grazed his ear, as he sat down beside Adam on the porch steps in front of the apartment building. Adam noticed he was wearing a white polo, and he liked how the color contrasted with the tanned skin of Nigel's arms and neck. 

Between two fingers burned a cigarette.

“Hello, Nigel,” Adam greeted, as he folded his arms around his knees. His eyes briefly brushed over the other man's profile before they returned to staring out over the park. “Thank you for coming.”

It had only been three days after the attempted robbery that Adam had messaged Nigel, asking to meet him here. Nigel's reply had been nearly instant, and it had been only a rough fifteen minutes before he had stepped around the corner.

One hand reached out to cup Adam's cheek.

“What's the matter, darling?” Nigel asked, as he stared into Adam's glassy eyes. The star scar furrowed beneath strands of hair, as an index finger brushed up the bridge of Adam's nose. “I don't like seeing these wrinkles.”

Adam felt a pull behind his pelvis. Nigel's words seemed to decode like an insult, but that touch of a broad fingertip stroked gently against his skin. It didn't sound, or feel, like an insult.

“And I don't like the smell of cigarettes,” he quickly countered, lowering his gaze to Nigel's hand where smoke curled from the little, white stick between his fingers. He had smelled it on Nigel before, although it had not been off-putting against the man's natural scent of sweat and skin and 'outside'.

“Ha,” Nigel's tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he tapped his finger against the tip of Adam's nose. His hand dropped the remains of his cigarette to crush it with his combat boot. “Fucking smartass.” 

Another insult that didn't sting. 

Nigel liked to joke with him, Adam decided. 

On the other side of the road kids were playing soccer, and Adam saw two of the boys glancing at him again. Whispering. Laughing. He swallowed against the sinking weight in his chest.

“What are they fucking looking at?” Nigel said, following his gaze as the two boys turned to run after the ball. He shifted to lean his elbows on his thighs and spread his legs wide until one boot grazed Adam's shoe, who sat with his knees closed and his hand resting atop.

_Me_ , Adam wanted to say, but the word felt oddly stuck in his throat. 

“The neighborhood kids play soccer in the park after school,” he said instead, shuffling his feet against the stone steps. “They call me names, sometimes.”

His confession was made to his knees, where his fingers tightened against his trousers. “They think I'm weird.”

He could see Nigel stare at him from the corner of his eye. 

“They fucking what, now?” the man said, before his hand reached for the railing of the steps, lifting himself to his feet. “Fucking bullies.”

Adam looked up to see Nigel tower over him, his eyes tight and hard on the soccer-playing kids. Nigel's head was blocking the sun, giving the impression rays of sunlight were coming straight out of his skull.

“Nigel, please sit down,” Adam said, raising his hand to pull at the hem of Nigel's shirt as heat rose up from the back of his neck. Nigel's eyes remained hard on the kids across the street, and Adam saw one of the boys stare straight back at him with widening eyes. 

The guy who had called him 'rain man', that one time. 

“Nigel,” Adam pleaded, relief washing over his cold insides when the other man finally looked down, and sank back on the step beside him. The star on his forehead remained wrinkled, like a sunset reflecting in the waves of the ocean. 

“I didn't ask you to come so you can fight them,” Adam said, hands between his knees. “I asked because the name-calling makes me feel bad.” Nigel's eyes looked golden in the sunlight. “... and I wanted to feel better.”

Nigel had helped him after the attack in the alleyway. Nigel had walked him home, had brought him an orange soda... had even offered him his company.

“You made me feel better, before.” 

Adam watched a grin sharpen briefly on Nigel's face as tanned skin pinkened from the neck up.

“And I'd fucking love to make you feel more than amazing, darling,” Nigel said, his expression soft as he curled a hand around Adam's wrist and squeezed. The touch made Adam's hands unclench, as his bones sank into the weight of the warm grip. 

“But that doesn't make it fucking right that you wouldn't smile otherwise, because of a bunch of ignorant fucking idiots,” Nigel's voice was like velvet as he stroked his thumb over Adam's pulse. Adam's eyes stayed restless on Nigel's fingers. Away from the field.

Adam's fingers started tapping on the inside of his thigh.

“Okay,” he said, biting the inside of his cheek. Nigel made a lot of sense, in between all those profanities. But making sense had never been Adam's problem.

“...I just don't know how to make it stop.” 

Nigel exhaled through his nose as his shoulders slumped forward. “You want my advice, angel?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he flashed a sideways glance at Adam. His open stare felt warm.

“I do,” Adam nodded. “I stopped sitting outside for two weeks, last month,” he said, looking away when Nigel's gaze began to cloud his head. “But I need vitamin D, and it's springtime.” 

Beside him, Nigel scoffed, and one, large hand came to rest of the back of Adam's shoulder. “It's your fucking porch, baby,” he said, as he dragged dry air through his teeth. “You can sit here whenever you fucking well please.”

The hand stroked up and down in short bursts, and the touch on his back had the proper weight and pressure to be reassuring rather than intrusive or demanding. 

Adam wasn't startled by it.

“So, what do these fuckers call you?” Nigel asked, using his free hand to dig up a loose piece of gum from his pocket. Adam was offered, but declined, and soon the scent of sweet mint filled his nostrils when Nigel chewed with deep grinds of his teeth.

“Retard,” Adam answered him stoically. “Sometimes weirdo, or freak, nerd...” Nigel's fingers twitched against his back. “...but mostly retard.”

The tapping on his thigh sped up at the memories, as Adam watched Nigel's feet twitch on the steps. For a frightened moment, he feared Nigel would get up and walk away. 

That he would hear Adam's words, and realize they were true.

Before he could stop himself, Adam placed a quick hand on Nigel's knee, squeezing down with his fingers to keep him in place.

_Don't leave._

But Nigel didn't leave. 

His hand covered Adam's, as he sat up straighter to lean back against the upper steps.

“Kids are fucking assholes, darling,” he said, his voice rough but soft as his fingers squeezed around Adam's. “You know you are not any of those things.”

Adam looked down at their touching skin. Beth had held his hand, a couple of times. He had thought it was exciting that someone had wanted to hold his hand, like in the movies. But it hadn't made him feel safe, or calm, or part of... something beyond himself.

The kids in the park were no longer looking in their direction, but were chasing the ball on the grass, trying to shoot it between two trees.

“Maybe I am,” Adam said, scrunching up his nose at the pointlessness of the game. “I have Asperger's.” A quick look to the side confirmed Nigel's eyes on him. “It means I'm on the autistic spectrum.”

Those eyes, stirring warm and thick, were ringed like Saturn, and they didn't look away, narrowed or widened at Adam's confession. Nigel's face was, like any other, difficult to read. But his eyes were always shimmering with something that made Adam feel less on the outside. Like he wasn't talking too much, or saying the wrong words to communicate his thoughts. Less judged when he got it wrong.

Steady like gravity.

“Asperger's means that you are - ...” 

Adam had learned this by heart. He had written a page in his notebook with his psychiatrist, who had told him to memorize the words for whenever he needed to explain to someone what his condition entailed. Reciting now only took him 78 seconds.

But Nigel's fingers slid down his shoulder, his arm, before they came to rest lightly on his palm.

“I know about Asperger's, darling,” he spoke unexpectedly before Adam could even start. His voice lowered, soft, and was accompanied by a short nod. 

Adam watched the star on Nigel's forehead as the hair shifted back and forth along the lines. 

“Oh.”

That was unusual. 

Autism, people usually had some ideas about. Often wrong, incomplete. Asperger's, that was a term people usually only laughed about, because it sounded like ass, and burgers.

“I've had a lot of fucking jobs since I came to the US,” Nigel said as he folded his hands together between his widely spread legs. Some fingers were stained yellow with nicotine. “And one of them was as a security guard in an institution.” 

Nigel's eyes flashed up as he said: “I picked up a lot of things in those seven months.”

Adam heard the grunt in Nigel's voice and dipped his head. No, maybe the world had never made much sense to him. Maybe he had never quite fit, and was sometimes in need of help. But he had not been taken away from his home.

“I've never been in one of those places,” he said, pressing his lips tighter together. His dad had always taken care of him, taught him what he needed to know, until his death. “But I did receive therapy.”

Nigel's eyes lowered back to him, and one corner of his lips lifted high. “As we all fucking should,” he said, pushing his hair back from his face. 

Nigel didn't seem to be put off.

“Social situations are difficult for me,” Adam admitted, hands linking behind his bent knees. “I'm not very good with people.” 

Nigel's body turned towards him on the steps, and Adam lifted his eyes at the angular face. “You're good with people, Adam,” Nigel spoke a little hoarse. “They're just too fucking riddled with their own shortcomings to be good with you.” 

Adam's eyes dropped to the maple syrup gaze, as something just behind his ribs pulled tight. Nigel's presence wasn't heavy or asking or pulling for something Adam didn't understand. It was just there.

“You're fucking exceptional,” Nigel said, huffing air from his nose. “We just met, and I'm not the brightest fucking tool in the shed, but even I can see that.”

Adam felt bright eyes on him, and lowered his as he felt himself starting to smile. _Exceptional_. The words seemed kind. _Special_ , his dad had used to call him. Different, but not in a bad way.

“Did you know I had autism when we first met?” Adam said, feeling curious and safe enough to ask. Nigel's hand slid to his arm again, as Adam watched the pink star on his forehead wrinkle.

“I knew you were pure as fucking snow, beautiful like an angel, smooth like a dolphin and bright like the fucking sun,” Nigel declared as he caught Adam's widening eyes with crinkling corners. A grin flashed his sharp teeth as his eye sparkled with the reflection of the sunlight.

“Smooth like a dolphin?” Adam repeated, blinking his eyes at the odd phrase and making Nigel chuckle loudly on the steps. The knuckles of two fingers brushed along his cheek, and Adam felt the warmth of his skin.

“Smooth as silk, gorgeous,” Nigel confirmed, and Adam felt himself answering the playful smile. Nigel was very touchy. 

Adam wasn't often touched. When he was, it was usually in an unpleasant, intrusive kind of way. The doctor, the dentist, and strangers bumping against his shoulder...

This was different.

His eyes stayed on Nigel, pleasantly rooting in the warm syrup as the man's fingers brushed a strand from Adam's forehead. 

“Some people get fucking jealous or insecure when people are exceptional like you, gorgeous,” Nigel said, his eyes lowering briefly to Adam's mouth. “But that's not your problem, baby. It's theirs.”

His words, his eyes, the touch on Adam's forehead... Adam had to recollect himself, and make sense of the splashing feeling in his stomach. 

“It often feels like my problem,” Adam said, as he felt Nigel pull his hand back from his skin. Looking back up, Adam saw Nigel stretching out his legs and crossing them at the ankles, before tilting his head up towards the sun with a sigh. 

“Yeah,” he huffed, closing his eyes against the light. “That's what they want, darling.”

Adam looked at him. Or, perhaps more accurately, observed the chest hair that curled from behind the open buttons of Nigel's shirt.

Nigel wasn't smooth like a dolphin, and Adam had a hard time looking away. 

“When they call you names, you call them right out for what they are, alright?” Nigel said, his voice sharpening, as he stared at Adam with unblinking eyes. “Fucking cowards,” he spat. “The lowest thing one could fucking be on God's green and fucked up earth.”

Adam's fingers clenched on his knees. “Fucking cowards...” he repeated, unfamiliar with profanities in his mouth. Maybe just 'cowards' would suffice.

“Or you call me and I do it for you, sunshine.” One of Nigel's eyes blinked, while the other one stayed open. A wink.

Adam shook his head, as his lips drew wider into a smile that was coaxed yet again by the brightness in those maple eyes. “I didn't ask you to come to call people cowards, Nigel,” he said, feeling warmth stream into his cheeks and neck. “I just wanted to see you and... feel better.”

Nigel didn't touch him this time, but inched a little closer on the step. “Do you?” he asked, and Adam's smile widened when their shoulders bumped.

“Yes,” he said, feeling his cheeks burn with heat. “The things you said to me were nice, and I enjoy looking at your face.”

At this, Nigel flashed a grin before he hummed a dark but warming sound from that hairy chest.

“I've been hoping you would message me every single day since we met,” he admitted easily, and Adam chuckled, confusion drawing on his forehead.

“That was only three days ago,” he spoke puzzled. He had been doubtful about messaging Nigel so soon, knowing it could come off as smothering. But apparently, the man had been waiting for him.

Maybe Nigel came with a different set of rules. 

“Don't I know it, gorgeous,” Nigel scoffed as he looked out over the park. One of the kids was shouting something incoherent at his friend, who reacted by kicking the ball in his direction with a hard, well-aimed kick, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Let me do one thing,” Nigel said, before grasping the baluster to rise to his feet. “I want to talk to those shitheads.”

Adam looked up at Nigel, tall and broad and blocking the sun. Inside, a cold, clenching itch rose from his gut to between his shoulder blades. 

Having someone stick up for him was... really nice. 

Really nice. 

But also terrifying. 

“Nigel...” he started, as he pulled his arms back around his knees. 

Adam didn't like to be noticed.

“I just want to talk to them,” Nigel said, trying to comfort him as he held up both hands. “Civilized and fucking proper.”

Those hands held up were a surrender. A display of innocence, Adam knew. He had seen people do it in movies.

“Are you going to call them cowards?” Adam asked, as Nigel hopped onto the sidewalk.

The man pushed his hair back with combing fingers, as one tooth bit into his lower lip. “Something like that, yeah.”

Those lips looked soft. Like Beth's, but more... daring. 

Wholesome.

“Okay.”

Nigel didn't look back, but marched over to the grass with shoulders squared, chest wide, legs strong and back wide. His ass also looked very firm inside those jeans, Adam noticed.

The kids saw him coming too late, because they froze instead of running away.

“Ey. Come here,” Adam heard Nigel's voice boom in the distance. “Let me tell you bunch of idiots something...”

Some eyes shifted, as if calculating their chances if they would run. But neither of them dared to move as Nigel stepped between them and picked up the ball from the grass.

His words were scattered by the wind.

“... - if I ever hear a single fucking word about any of you...”

The ball was pinned safely between Nigel's arm and ribcage.

“... - because I'm not the type of guy who makes idle threats...”

The kids looked so small next to Nigel. Their arms and legs looked so thin.

“... - and if any of you think for a fucking second that you can just...”

Adam watched the muscles ripple beneath Nigel's shirt as he spoke with wide gestures of his arm, and felt something warm and weak spreading through his limbs. 

“... - bullying. Because in my book, that makes you the biggest fucking...”

Nigel was talking about cowards again, and Adam smiled. 

He liked Nigel. He liked being around him. He liked listening to him talk, despite all the profanities and the smell of smoke.

Being with Nigel wasn't hard.

“... - I'll take all your fucking iPhones and smash 'em over your fucking...”

Being with Nigel was easy.

Adam watched as Nigel turned and walked back towards him, as the kids carefully grabbed the abandoned ball and slowly backed away to their bikes. Their lips moved with whispers, and their cheeks burned red. Shame, Adam guessed, rather than excitement.

Nigel chuckled as he reached the stairs, and dropped himself back on the step next to Adam. “Like taking heroin from a junkie,” he said, as he patted Adam on the knee with a tooth-baring grin.

Adam watched Nigel's pleased expression. “You can't threaten people, you know,” he said, feeling the nag of worry pooling beneath his chest. “They'll report you.”

He didn't want the police to come, and take him away. Nigel was his friend.

Nigel huffed happily. “They're not gonna do shit,” he breezed, shrugging his shoulders as his eyes sparkled brightly in the lowering sun. “They know we'll report them right back for harassment.”

Adam glanced at his watch. 

“It's nearly dinner time,” he said. The park was void of children now and the street was quiet but for the low hum of Nigel's voice. It was almost a shame to leave it behind.

But it was almost dinner time.

“Fuck yeah! I'm starving,” Nigel piped enthusiastically as he pushed himself up and offered a strong hand to Adam.

He took it, feeling the rough skin press against his in an unfamiliar, pleasant slide.

“That wasn't an invitation,” he said, coming face to face with Nigel. Adam never had people over. He cooked his dinner, he watched his show...

There wasn't room for more.

Nigel scanned his eyes patiently over Adam's face. “A true hero doesn't fight crime for payment, I suppose,” he sighed, but his lips twitched into a crooked smile.

And Adam felt stupid. It was dinner time. It was time for cooking, eating, TV, showering, brushing his teeth and putting on his pajamas. 

But he wanted Nigel to stay. He wanted to do all of these things like he always did them, but...

...he didn't need Nigel to go.

“I can cook for two,” he surprised himself with the sudden declaration. He had only ever cooked for Dad, and twice for Beth. “But I only eat macaroni and cheese, broccoli and chicken, so that's what we'll be having.” 

He turned towards the building's entrance and walked up the stairs, hearing Nigel following after.

“Sounds a lot more wholesome than what I usually end up with,” the man snickered, before he rushed forward to open the door for Adam.

And that was how Nigel was in his apartment for the second time that week, smoking a cigarette on the balcony as Adam boiled the water, took out the plates, opened the refrigerator...

Steps he followed every single day, only this time, it was two plates, two portions, two glasses.

When Nigel stepped inside and leaned over to peek into the pan, Adam could smell the fresh, heavy scent of tobacco. 

“Please stand back, you stink of cigarettes,” he said, as Nigel's chin grazed his shoulder. He obeyed him with an easy slide.

“I just want to see how you do it, so I can cook for you next time, gorgeous,” Nigel said, and clacked his tongue as he leaned against the counter. “Although I'd rather learn how to make you your breakfast.”

Nigel's tone had changed with that last sentence. It was... pinched.

Adam couldn't quite figure out why, but one look over his shoulder showed him the rise of one, blond eyebrow.

“That doesn't make any sense,” Adam said, a frown lowering his forehead as he spun the words round in his mind. “It's evening.” 

Nigel laughed but didn't explain, as he walked to the sink and washed his hands.

They ate, and Adam watched his show, allowing Julia Roberts' voice to sooth him with familiarity as Nigel sat beside him and ate his food with more noise than Adam had expected himself to be able to stand.

But it was fine.

“Do you know the elderly home down the corner of Grant avenue?” Nigel asked, as they washed the dishes. This time, Adam only had to dry rather than wash and dry all by himself.

Nigel didn't wash as well as he did, but it was nice. Nicer than doing it alone.

“The one next to the Observatory?” Adam asked, his ears peaking up as he turned his head, resting his eyes on the star. “I'm a tour guide there.”

Adam enjoyed his job, and he smiled proudly as he dared to meet Nigel's eyes beneath the pink, pointed scar.

“I guess I should take the old folks for a tour, then,” Nigel grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners as they stirred warm syrup. “I'm a caregiver.”

Adam felt a burst of delight jolt his shoulders upright. Nigel worked with the old people in the building that was almost directly next to the one where Adam spent 40 hours of his week. They would be able to look out the window, and see each other.

“We're neighbors, darling,” Nigel said, and Adam matched his smile as he dried the last spoon. 

When the counter was wiped down, Adam gestured Nigel towards the front door with a soft but determined: “It's nearly my bed time.” 

Nigel hummed as he reached for the handle. “Thank you for the meal, sunshine,” he said with a pull of his lips. “Message me tomorrow?”

Adam looked at the messy ash blond hair, and the questioning frown on his scarred forehead.

“About what?” he asked, feeling a pull beneath his chest.

Nigel laughed, light and free. “About anything you fucking like, gorgeous,” he said, “text me about fucking space.”

Adam smiled again. 

“Yes,” he agreed. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! ^.^  
> (And don't forget, tomorrow in the Hannibal Zoom reunion!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fingers fidgeted with the hem of his jacket. “It's... the girl who brings around the mail at work,” Adam started, dropping down his shoulders. 
> 
> “She... she said I was cute.”
> 
> A small choking noise sprung from Nigel's throat, and Adam saw the other man blink his widening eyes. The star scar was wrinkled as he said: 
> 
> “Well... fuck.”

It was chilly outside, and the dark sky closed with thick and heavy clouds above Adam. He looked up, wishing he could see the stars. But he knew tonight wasn't going to provide such a view. There was a thunderstorm coming.

“Hello, gorgeous.”

Adam's head jolted to the right when he heard the familiar voice he had been waiting for, and saw Nigel walking towards him across the the grass - hair slicked back and muscles bulking in a tight, black v-neck shirt.

_He must be cold_ , Adam thought. He, himself, was wearing his pale summer jacket, and even now the fabric allowed the wind to tighten his skin underneath.

But he forgot to vocalize that wonder when Nigel smiled at him with a sharp pull of his plush lips, making Adam feel light on his feet and inside his head, even more than before. 

“Hello, Nigel,” he said, shuffling on the bench so Nigel could sit beside him. “You're not allowed to walk on the grass here.” 

Nigel's weight creaked the wood as he sat down, and his arm stretched over the back where Adam could feel his fingers graze his jacket. 

“...but thank you for coming.”

Nigel huffed, his long legs stretching out before him as warm eyes settled on Adam's. “Anything for you, angel,” he mused, as he arched his back with a drawn out groan, and exposed a sliver of hairy belly. “And that's fucking truer than I would like to admit, too.”

Adam watched that soft stretch of lightly tanned skin, and the trail of hair that dipped below the waistband. He didn't have that kind of body hair. Beth certainly didn't either. Adam briefly wondered if it would feel warm beneath his fingers. Or his cheek.

Nigel's chuckle made Adam's eyes shoot back up, his cheeks warming with embarrassment as he remembered his father's words. _“Don't stare at body parts below the neck, Adam. It's not polite.”_ But Nigel's gaze was pointed towards the thick clouds above, rather than catching Adam's lingering stare.

“It's gonna rain soon, darling,” Nigel said, holding up his hand as if to feel for drops. Information he could have equally effectively gathered the moment he had lifted up his chin, Adam thought.

“In about 25 minutes,” he said, and watched Nigel's nose crinkle up as his lips lifted over his teeth. Amusement, was Adam's best guess.

“So why are you sitting alone in the dark, baby?” Nigel asked as he turned towards him on the bench. One hand was absently patting the pocket of his jeans, but, when finding it empty, came to rest on his thigh instead. 

Combined with the smell of cologne, mint and grass only, Adam realized Nigel was trying to quit smoking.

“I like to come here to think,” Adam said, his eyes lifting to the dark, dangerous sky above. “It's a nice, quiet place to clear my head.” A deep inhale stroked from his nose to his lungs. “...although I miss the raccoon family from New York.”

He did miss those raccoons. Life was better, here. Calmer, kinder, balanced... But he did miss those raccoons.

Nigel sniffled, and his nostrils wiggled wide. “Raccoons huh?” he asked Adam nothing in particular, but his cheeks pushed up with the wideness of his smile.

Adam flicked his wrist, “I will tell you about them another time,” he ushered, one tooth sinking into the inside of his lip. “That's not why I asked you to come.”

Nigel leaned his elbows on his thighs, folding his hands together, and Adam could see him looking from the corner of his eye. “So what's going on, darling?” he asked, his voice a little sharper than it had been before. “Are you okay? Is anyone harassing you again?”

Adam shook his head. 

No. No, that's not why he had asked Nigel to come.

Fingers fidgeted with the hem of his jacket. “It's... the girl who brings around the mail at work,” he started, dropping down his shoulders. 

“She... she said I was cute.”

A small choking noise sprung from Nigel's throat, and Adam saw the other man blink his widening eyes. The star scar was wrinkled as he said: “Well... fuck.”

Adam was unsure of the meaning of Nigel's reaction, but his toes started tapping inside his shoes as he clenched the seat with his hands. “Her name is Madelaine,” he said with a quick nod of his head. “She is nice, and she's good looking.”

She had very straight teeth. That was considered attractive.

“We were talking about the James Webb Space Telescope, and how it will replace the Hubble Space Telescope in 2021,” Adam said, a smile opening on his face at the memory. 

It had been a good conversation. He had enjoyed it. “Space telescopes can be used to observe astronomical objects at wavelengths of the electromagnetic spectrum that cannot penetrate the Earth's atmosphere and are therefore impossible to observe using ground-based telescopes,” Adam said, perking a little straighter on the bench.

“I really liked talking about Space Telescopes with her.”

Nigel's eyes were a little wide, Adam noticed, but he didn't make a sound as he looked at him and breathed through parted lips.

“Oh. Well...” he said, lingering on the silence as Adam reached into the pocket of his coat, and showed scribbling on a neatly folded piece of paper.

“She gave me her phone number,” he said, placing the opened paper on his palm to show the writing to Nigel, whose widened eyes narrowed instantly before he straightened on the bench. 

“Well, there you fucking go,” Nigel said, as his arms folded tight over his chest and one leg swung over the other. Body language wasn't Adam's strong suit, but he knew there was an obvious change in Nigel's posture.

“I told you, didn't I?” His ankle twisted left to right to full rotations, dangling in the air as he gestured to the paper with a flopping hand from between his folded arms. “You're special. People notice that.”

Their eyes met, briefly, but this time it wasn't Adam who dropped his gaze. Nigel lowered his head as his hand reached for his pocket - stopping himself yet again. Smoking was an addiction as much as it was a habit, and it was obvious Nigel's fingers needed something to do. He sighed, dropped both hands to the bench, and unfolded his legs to kick at the sand and stone beneath his feet.

“Madelaine fucking did.” 

His grumbled words were undirected, and Adam went from staring at the piece of paper to Nigel's profile, hidden behind his loosening hair.

“So, what should I do?” he asked hesitantly, and watched Nigel's broad shoulders fall with a sharp sigh.

“Fuck, Adam,” he grunted, his fingers pushing back his hair. “What do you _want_ to fucking do?”

Nigel's eyes looked a little pink around the rim, and Adam lowered the phone number into his lap. “I don't like making phone calls,” he said.

Adam saw Nigel tighten beside him. “Do you... Jesus, Adam...” he groaned, both hands now clinging to the edge of the bench. His knuckles were white, and Adam stared at the blood filling the veins on Nigel's bare forearms. “...do you _want_ to fucking go out with her?”

The question shocked Adam right back to Nigel's gaze, whose temples were adorned with little beads of perspiration. “Do you want to... fucking... date her, hold her hand, kiss her, make love to her...?” The words were spoken through gritted teeth as Nigel counted openly on clenched fingers, flipping from the bench. Their eyes met, and blond eyebrows creased the skin above Nigel's nose.

“Adam, do you fucking like her like _that_?”

Adam noticed Nigel's jaw and shoulders were tense, as was the straight stare in his darkened eyes. Adam didn't know, or like, this look on him. Nigel usually smiled.

The words lingered in Adam's head as he remembered the way he had enjoyed the conversation with Madelaine. He had liked her interest in the James Webb space telescope. But the idea of holding her hand, kissing her, having sex with her like he'd done with Beth...

He'd much rather see Nigel smile again.

Without another moment, Adam thrust the piece of paper into Nigel's hand. “Here,” he said, slipping the note between broad fingers. “...y-you take it.”

Instead of smiling at the offer, however, Nigel looked at the paper in his hand as a deep crease folded on his scarred forehead. The star was starting to look more like a hedgehog, this way.

“Why would _I_ fucking take it, gorgeous?” he asked, ending the sentence with a breathy chuckle. He did smile, then, but the frown was still folded in place. His eyes weren't syrup.

Adam blinked determinedly. “I don't think I want to go out with her,” he said, shaking his head, and was surprised to hear Nigel scoff at his words.

“So you want me to have a go?” the man huffed, raising his eyebrows. It wasn't a normal question, either. There was something else to it. Something Adam recognized as mocking.

This was all going wrong. 

“I...”

Their eyes met, and Nigel sighed as he handed back the piece of paper. Adam only stared at it, unwilling to take it. It stayed between them on the bench.

“That's not really how this works, darling,” Nigel said, his voice not as deep as usual. “She likes _you_.” Their hands rested side by side on the bench, the phone number pinned by their fingers. “She doesn't know _me_.”

Adam's jaw clenched. “She does,” he countered stiffly. “I told her all about you.” 

So maybe he had talked about more than just telescopes.

Nigel's eyes widened behind the loose strands of hair. “Did you now, darling?” he said, a sudden, crooked grin pulling on his lips as he turned himself closer towards Adam. “What the fuck did you tell her?”

Adam's eyes lifted, recollecting the memory as if flipping back the pages of a book. “I told her that you saved me from a robber who tried to stab me,” he stated, and watched Nigel's eyes light up with that familiar glow. “And that you threatened the neighborhood kids who now play at the other side of the field.” 

Another snort, but this time Nigel's cheekbones were turning a pinkish shade. “Threatened might not be the word to be eh... fucking spreading around, gorgeous,” he said, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I didn't say you threatened their lives,” Adam corrected, his eyes now glued on the peach glow that brightened Nigel's skin. “I told her you are a hero. That you have a scar in the shape of a star on your forehead. That you work with the old people in the building next to us. And that you are my best friend.”

Adam hadn't had many friends in his life. Before Nigel, there had been Dad, Harlan, Beth, some people from work...

He went to a birthday party for Dan once, the guy who sold drinks and snacks at the cafeteria.

But Nigel was better. 

Adam was extremely comfortable spending very little time with other people, but Nigel... Nigel was quickly becoming the person he liked being around most in this world. 

Nigel pushed air through his lips so hard it made a noise before he said: “Well, you certainly fucking sold me.” 

His laughter was silent and his gaze fell almost searchingly to his shoes. The piece of paper was still held down with their fingers between their hips.

“Are you going to call her?” Adam asked. Madelaine had sounded impressed at the things Adam had told her about Nigel, and Nigel... Nigel was handsome, strong and hairy. She would definitely like that.

But Nigel shook his head, firmer this time. His fingers pulled back from the paper before trying to push it back to Adam's side of the bench. “Fuck no, Adam,” he grunted tiredly. “I don't want to date this girl.”

The annoyed, defeated sigh made Adam frown as he took the phone number back in his own hand.  
“How do you know?” he asked him. “She is very pretty. She has red hair.”

Madelaine was definitely pretty. Not as good looking as Nigel, no. But she was attractive. Her body type was considered appealing, she wore lipstick that matched her hair, and she walked elegantly in heels.

Nigel let out a laugh so hard and abrupt it sounded more like a bark. “Not my first choice at the moment, anyway,” he said, and Adam's gaze fell down to where their hands nearly touched. Nearly... no matter if Adam wriggled his fingers a little closer.

Nigel had no trouble touching him before. But he wasn't touching him now.

“Oh.” 

A knot churned in Adam's stomach as Nigel kicked gravel from beneath his shoes. 

“I already got my eye on someone else,” he said after a short silence filled by nothing but the rustling of the wind.

Adam froze.

Someone else?

Someone else.

Adam mirrored the movement beside him, as he rolled the bottom of his shoe along a dozen little stones. Kicking.

“Oh.”

Nigel leaned back against the bench as his head fell to his neck. In the sky, the clouds were getting thicker.

“Yeah,” he proclaimed, his smile trembling at the corner. “It was blazing fucking love at first sight, and he's been twiddling with my heartstrings for days, now.”

Nigel's eyes rolled to the side as he watched Adam through heavy lids. Adam blinked back, letting the words roll through his head as he dissected them one at a time. 

_He_

Of course. 

Of course Nigel didn't want to date Madelaine.

“You're a homosexual,” Adam exclaimed, jolting upright on the bench. Nigel's foot shot forward on the rolling gravel, as he tilted his head and showed one pointed tooth. The low light only made his features look sharper.

“No, darling,” he said. “I just follow wherever the love takes me.”

His eyes were warm liquid yet again in the streetlights, and Adam felt himself grow warm.

Nigel followed love. 

“I used to have a girlfriend,” Adam said, wanting Nigel to know he was not entirely clueless on the subject. He didn't follow love, but he... he had had dates and kisses and sex.

He had even told her he loved her, once. She had wanted him to.

Nigel hummed. “Beth,” he grunted. “Yeah, gorgeous. I pay attention.”

Adam swallowed. “She eh... was the only one who ever dated me,” he said, pressing his lips together. Beside him, Nigel hung his arms back over the rest of the bench.

“I've been married to a woman that broke my heart so badly I allowed a cop to put a bullet in my brain,” he said, pointing at the scar on his forehead as a sharp grin flashed up his cheeks.

Adam sucked in a breath.

A bullet.

“Your star scar,” he said, eyes tracing all the lines of that thickened patch of skin. A bullet.

Nigel had survived a real bullet to the head.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, and saw Nigel watching him openly as Adam studied his scar, wondering what it would feel like beneath his fingers.

“Not anymore,” Nigel smiled at him, blinking lazily. “None of my head and none of my heart.”

At last, Nigel's fingers stopped inching away from his, but reached out to touch, and stroke along the length of Adam's hand.

“In fact, I believe I have never felt better.”

Nigel's raw tone tightened Adam's core with a pulsing squeeze. The touch was light, but the sensation Adam felt rolling up his thighs was one he recognized as something beyond friendly hand-holding. 

He felt his groin twitch inside his underwear as he watched the long fingers stroke along his. Adam was aroused. 

“I've changed my mind,” he said, blinking the haze from his blown eyes. “I don't want you to go out with Madelaine after all.”

Adam's gaze lowered as he shook his head. No.

What a stupid idea _that_ had been. 

Why would Adam want Nigel to go out with... people? Nigel was _his_ friend. He liked him right here, spending his time with him.

Adam liked their talks, Nigel's anger towards people that had been unkind to him, and the way they ate dinner together without Nigel wanting to interrupt his show. He liked his smile, his laugh, his jokes, despite not always understanding them. He liked his smell, his face, his body... especially the parts that had hair.

Nigel was very nice to look at.

A sly smile now spread wolf-like over his features. “And why is that, baby?” Nigel asked, his fingers squeezing gently over his.

Adam's breath hitched in his chest. 

“I-I just realized the idea of you holding hands with Madelaine is very off-putting to me,” he said, pulling his lips down at the image. “And the idea of sex is even worse.”

Nigel breathed a laugh that stroked Adam's skin warmly. “Even worse, huh?” he said, the corner of his mouth twitching. “So what would you rather have me do?” 

A pink tongue licked Nigel's restless lips wet, and Adam felt his own go dry.

“I think I'd rather...” he hesitated, taking a deep breath in as his eyes skated back and forth over Nigel's open face. “...spend time with you myself.”

Their eyes met long enough for Adam to see Nigel's pupils push a little wider.

“For hand-holding?” the man teased, as he laced their fingers on the bench. His smile bared teeth. “Because I'll come running.”

The warm skin against his own made Adam's heart strum a little faster. “Or sex...” he said, startled by a wild intake of breath beside him, and a flex of fingers against his.

“Adam...” 

Nigel sounded out of breath as he pushed out his name, and Adam looked to see heat return to his cheeks. 

“...Fuck...” The man sat up straighter on the bench again, and Adam watched his throat work as he swallowed. “...anything you want, gorgeous.”

Adam's eyes shifted down, feeling both want and nerves pushing in his stomach. He really liked Nigel, but he hadn't quite realized it could be like that.

“I've never liked another man,” he admitted, as he stared down at his shoes. “I never really considered it before.”

Nigel hummed a little unsteady. “Maybe you follow the love, like me,” he said, his voice a little higher, a little softer, traveling up and down Adam's spine. Nigel shifted closer, until their legs touched, and their hands rested on Nigel's thick thigh.

“And maybe the fucking universe shaped my scar like a star to point me at you, stargazer.”

His words were a low brush against Adam's ear, who bit his lip at the warmth, the scent, of Nigel's nearness.

“You're talking about fate,” he said, feet still rolling noisily along the gravel. “I don't believe in fate.”

Nigel's lips pulled into a smile nonetheless. “ _I_ fucking do,” he panned, his eyes dark in the low light that surrounded them.

Adam shook his head. “Fate is not based on any scientific...” he started, but Nigel pressed closer, squeezing his hand tighter.

“Doesn't matter, baby,” he said, as his bright and dancing vision held steady into Adam's view. “I started believing in miracles when I first laid eyes on those stargazing blues.”

Adam's cheek flushed warm, matching Nigel's in the dark. No one had ever spoken to Adam like this.

Not even Beth.

“You're in love with me,” he said, and Nigel laughed with dropping shoulders.

“I'm fucking madly in love with you, darling,” he said, thumb running along the length of Adam's, who smiled, feeling warm.

Nigel was in love with him.

“Are you in love with many people?” he asked. He wasn't sure if the question was appropriate, but he did want to know. Jealousy wasn't necessarily a bad thing, his psychiatrist had explained to him, once. As long as you didn't try to control other people because of it. It was good to protect, not to possess.

Nigel scoffed, and one free hand came up to nudge two fingers against Adam's chin. “Who else would I want to waste my fucking time with now that I know _you_ exist?” he said, and Adam ducked his head.

“I hope no one,” he said, “But I'd rather you didn't ask me rhetorical questions instead of answering.”

Adam was often worried of being considered _blunt_ , as it was called, but Nigel's following laughter was quickly the most pleasant sound Adam had ever heard, and his stomach flipped and fluttered within. 

“Alright, gorgeous,” Nigel said, pointed teeth bared. “Let me tell you, point fucking blank, that you've been the only thing on my mind ever since that fucking alleyway and you make me feel like a goddamn teenager because of it.” Nigel's hand came to lie on Adam's knee, who felt the contact pull all the way to his groin as he watched the pupils widen in those maple syrup eyes. He quivered visibly when Nigel leaned in a little closer and said: 

“I'm fucking wild crazy about you, Adam.”

Adam swallowed against his dry mouth. Nigel liked him. A lot. Adam liked him, and Nigel liked him back. A rare occurrence in life, despite it being the main subject of so many movies.

His eyes rested on maple syrup. “I wasn't sure,” he spoke honestly. Of course there had been the _terms of endearment_ , the compliments, the touches. But Adam clung only to clarity.

“I'm not good at _reading between the lines_.”

Nigel pushed out hot air through his nostrils, his shoulder pushing forward with the huff. “And I was afraid I was coming on too fucking strong...” he mumbled, eyes blinking fast. “I'll be more on the nose from now on, darling.”

Adam pressed his lips together, as he suddenly became very aware of Nigel's nearness. The warmth and scent of his clothes and skin, the soft, pink curve of his mouth...

“Are you aroused?” he asked, knowing it was polite not to assume. _He_ was aroused, but that didn't mean that Nigel...

“Fuck yes. Oh, baby...” Nigel breathed, his eyes shining bright black and hot in the lantern light. The skin of his chest and neck became a flustered pink as he shuffled his thighs closer to Adam's. “You have no fucking idea how aroused I have been for a fucking week, now.”

Despite the fluttering heat in his belly, Adam blinked at Nigel's words.

“- since we fucking… since we met,” Nigel explained hastily, his breathing elated, his heart pounding loud against Adam's hand as he placed unsteady careful fingers over the tight, black shirt.

He really liked Nigel.

“We met five days ago,” Adam breathed, as he looked right above Nigel's blown eyes. The star scar was smoothed out completely.

“Then I've been painfully aroused for five days, gorgeous,” Nigel said, and Adam licked his lips at the breathy response. 

Adam didn't usually _want_ people. Too much of it was lost in translation to be anything other than exhausting. 

But he wanted Nigel.

“Will you kiss me?” he asked, fluttering his nervous lashes as he looked down to meet Nigel's eyes. The man looked stunned, unable to move for a lasting second, before he visibly gulped and pushed loose hair back from his face with quick hands.

“Fuck, please yes.” Hands came to cup Adam's jaw, hot words murmured against his lips, and at last, a soft mouth came to nip wetly on his lower lip with hungry but gentle play.

Adam took a moment to respond, not having been kissed for a long time, before he used his own lips to move with Nigel's. Soft and warm and a little wet. He breathed shakily into his mouth when a careful tongue brushed the seam.

A kiss with tongue. Beth only kissed him with tongue when she was going to have sex with him.

Nigel's moan was muffled between their lips, as their tongues slid together with curious licks and with gentle nips of blunt teeth. “Fuck, Adam...” he trembled as his hands came up to cup Adam's cheeks with desperate roaming of his fingers. Their bodies pressed together as close as the position allowed, but Nigel tried nevertheless to be even closer still, as if trying to disappear inside Adam.

Adam surprised himself by kissing back just as wholly as he ran his fingers along the collar of Nigel's shirt, and felt coarse chest hair against his fingers while Nigel sucked on his tongue.

Yes, this was very, very different than Beth. Very different.

Their wet lips slid together as their hands pulled at each other with an almost clumsy need. Adam was extremely aroused now. Hard and wet in his underwear, and it was only when Adam felt a single raindrop on the back of his neck that he pulled back.

It was almost like Nigel was attached to him with glue, as difficult it was to peel him off, but his swollen, red lips smiled very wide as Adam kept his fingers in the hem of Nigel's shirt.

“I enjoyed that,” he spoke truthfully, the words trembling in his throat. 

Nigel grinned, his eyes glossy and cloudy all at once as he choked a happy: “Adam, baby...”, before moving back in.

One lingering kiss left them both moaning.

“I enjoyed it very much,” Adam breathed huskily against Nigel's lips, who held him with fingers that quivered on his arms. 

Adam wondered if the cold had finally caught up with Nigel's bare skin. “You're shaking,” he said, eyes still on Nigel's shiny, pink lips.

A huff of laughter escaped Nigel's nostrils as he tried to steady his grip on Adam. “I've got it bad, darling,” he confessed, his cloudy eyes in turn lingering back on Adam's lips.

“Kiss me again,” Adam breathed, and Nigel wasted no time dipping his head to capture Adam's mouth in full. No holding back this time, as they explored teeth and licked along gums, before big hands came to push up under Adam's shirt.

Oh. Yes, of course. Nigel wanted to have sex with him.

And Adam... Adam had only ever had sex with Beth.

Nigel groaned as Adam pulled at his bottom lip with his teeth, and ran his fingers over as much of Adam's smooth, naked skin as he could reach. 

And it felt good. It felt really good.

They parted with whimpers and groans, and Nigel's forehead gleamed in the light. Adam knew he could do this for a long, long time, but little drops of early rain were brushing his skin and hair with a dooming forecast.

He could ask Nigel to come with him, and he knew that would lead to sex. 

All-male sex.

“Nigel,” Adam swallowed, as he watched little drops of water fall on Nigel's strong, bared arms.  
“I'm very aroused but I'm unsure about the practice of gay sex, so I would like to go home now and educate myself on the subject before doing anything else with you.”

The sentence left him out of breath, as he was already struggling to calm himself. His erection was tightly restrained inside his jeans, and Nigel looked really, really handsome. So bright in the dark. And he smelled so good.

He watched Nigel blink, as maple eyes widened. Nigel swallowed, his swollen lips still open. “Oh, I...” he tried, and Adam didn't look away from the gaping mouth. “Yeah. Of course, baby. Yeah. Whatever you need.”

The rain had started to fall a little thicker, a little harder, and Adam got up from the bench as he zipped up his jacket. His erection not yet wilting inside his underwear.

“I'll text you when I'm ready,” he said, before walking his way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview:
> 
> “You could ask me to wax my entire body, cover myself in fucking feathers and cluck like a goddamn chicken. I wouldn't even fucking blink.” He rasped happily against Adam's ear, who shivered at the contact of their bodies pressed so close together.
> 
> “I have a bird allergy and I like your body hair.” He breathed, nuzzling against Nigel's skin. “So I would never ask you that.”
> 
> **Hope you're ready for a very long, final chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to give you a blow job,” he panted, pulling back from Nigel's mouth, who gasped in a big gulp of air.
> 
> Adam knew he was, as his therapist had explained to him, too straight-forward with social interactions. Uncensored. Socially awkward and direct.
> 
> But with Nigel, that never seemed to be a problem.
> 
> “Fuck,” the man choked, grasping at the back of the couch as he pushed his hips a little closer to the edge. “Ok. Fuck, yeah of course, darling.”
> 
> His eyes were glazed, his pelvis tilted up, and there was a lostness about him that Adam found very lovely as he moved off the couch. 
> 
> “Ok,” he breathed, trying to keep his own hands steady. “Please use my bathroom to clean yourself, and then we can move to my bedroom.”
> 
> Adam rose to his feet, a little unsteady, and watched Nigel blink up with rounding eyes. “...Clean... myself?” he asked – a little, confused crease between his brows.

“I have some concerns,” Adam said, as he opened the door of his apartment. On the other side of the threshold, Nigel blinked at him with maple syrup eyes. He was wearing blue jeans, and a tight, navy blue button-up. His hair was gelled back, and his chin was smoothly shaved.

He looked extremely desirable.

He was also flustered, with fingers twitching by his side and shoulders not as squared as they normally would have been. He appeared to be experiencing the same nerves Adam was currently feeling - wreaking havoc inside his stomach and chest.

Adam stepped aside to let Nigel enter, and smelled the scent of morning air and toothpaste. No smoke. 

“Tell me, darling,” Nigel breathed, as he passed him into the living room. Those jeans were tight in the back too.

“I watched gay porn,” Adam said, as he gestured for Nigel to take a seat on the sofa. He did, but not without nearly stumbling over his own feet, and grabbing the armrest for support. His face gleamed pink in the morning light.

“Yes, fuck... okay,” he stammered, as Adam closed the front door. It had only been two nights since their kiss in the park, but he realized he was very pleased to see Nigel sitting on his couch again, hear him swear with that low gruff of a voice and fidget with those restless, cigarette-free fingers.

_I must have missed him._

He sat himself on the opposite end of the couch, and folded his hands between his legs.

“I wanted to know if I liked that sort of thing,” he said, and heard a sharp intake of breath beside him.

He had watched porn before, of course. He had a DVD with a woman who was dressed like a French maid - at first - and one where two women got car trouble in a snowstorm and were rescued by a mechanic. He had also seen clips on the internet, but never with _just_ men.

He had scrutinized it at first, not really sure of what to feel when he watched a soldier being fucked by his lieutenant in some kind of leather swing-set. But he soon found videos without combat boots and verbal abuse, and started to understand the appeal.

The way those men's – the bottoms' – eyes would cloud over when they were penetrated, the way their chests and necks would flush when they approached orgasm, and how their bodies would spasm during their release... that had made Adam very curious. And horny.

Then, he had found videos of a man the same build and hairstyle as Nigel, and he had stepped into bed nearly half an hour past his normal bedtime.

Yes, he had liked it. 

“I did,” he confessed, and looked up to see Nigel's widened eyes fixated upon him. His mouth opened and closed several times, but no sounds emerged.  
Adam continued.

“I thought about doing those things with you,” he said, and watched Nigel's Adam's apple bob beneath his throat. On his star scar shone a thin layer of sweat. “And I used a sex toy to know what it feels like to be penetrated by something bigger than my fingers.”

The corners of Nigel's mouth went slack, as did his lowering jaw. Breath came out in short, sharp bursts.

Adam's fingers clenched into the edge of his seat. “It was very pleasurable,” he said. “I found my prostate, had an orgasm...” A small, choked cough vibrated in Nigel's throat. “... and I enjoyed it a lot.”

A broken moan ripped from Nigel's chest, and Adam looked to see him damp and flustered on the other side of the couch. “Adam, fuck...”

He was aroused. Adam didn't need to ask. And in turn, he too felt himself grow warmer and heavier with the desire to climb on Nigel's spread legs, and push their groins together.

Just like in the video.

But it wouldn't be like a video. No one got hurt by the end of those videos.

Well... maybe... maybe that one with the cuffs and the face-slapping.

He took a deep breath, shuffling his socked feet against the parquet. “I started thinking about how much I like being around you,” he said, seeing Nigel's eyes light up to a warm caramel. “Much more so than Beth.”

Nigel shifted on the couch. “Adam...” His reaching hand stayed empty in between them, as Adam bit his lip, shielding his eyes down. After the orgasm had come the thinking.

“I thought about how we could spend time together, have sex, go to the park, cook, watch the stars, walk home after workdays...” he said, memorizing all the thoughts that had warmed him after that orgasm. How good it had made him feel.

“Fuck yes, baby,” Nigel choked beside him, and Adam saw those teeth exposed through an open, vibrant smile... one he couldn't meet with one of his own.

“But then those thoughts made me feel sad.”

Adam stood up from the couch, unable to look at Nigel as he walked to the window that overlooked the park. The kids were there.

Nigel liked him, Adam knew. Nigel was _fucking wild crazy_ about him. But Beth had liked him too. 

Beth had _loved_ him.

And she had left him anyway, because he was...

...because he had needed her to fix his problems.

“Adam...” Nigel breathed from his spot on the couch, and behind him, Adam could hear his feet twitching on the floor. 

He took one deep breath before he spoke. “Beth left me because she didn't want to be with someone that needed her for things like...” his lips twitched with humiliation. “...like helping me make phone calls or arrange appointments, help me with social situations...”

The kids were shoving and kicking at each other on the field, but they smiled as they yanked and pulled and grasped.

See... Adam didn't understand.

The couch creaked. “Who does all these things for you now?” Nigel asked him.

And Adam blinked.

Before Nigel, he had been alone. Ever since coming to California.

He turned to see Nigel's arms spread over the back of the couch.

“I do them,” he said, nodding. He had learned a lot since he had moved here. He had. “But I don't always do them right.”

Nigel huffed, smiled, closed his eyes, and pressed his lips together in a way that made Adam want to feel them again.

“No one does, baby,” he sighed. One flat hand patted the couch, and Adam understood. He released the windowsill to sit beside Nigel, and it felt good when a hand on his back coaxed him against a warm shoulder and fingers carted through his hair.

“I need help, sometimes,” Adam confessed, as his head was pillowed against Nigel's collarbone. “People don't like that.”

Fingers touched his temple, stroking down the side of his hair as Adam looked up into sweet, syrup eyes. The contact made him feel calmer. 

“I need a lot of help, Nigel,” Adam said, point-blank. Nigel smelled like mint and grass as he smiled down at him.

“Maybe you do,” he rumbled, fingertips massaging into Adam's skull. “And maybe I need someone who needs me around. Who needs _me_.” 

Nigel's voice was rough, but his eyes were sunny bright. 

“I need someone who is one hundred percent fucking true about who they are and what they want,” he told Adam. “Someone who wants and needs me around as least half as much as I need them.” Fingers tugged lightly on the hair in Adam's neck, and Adam closed his eyes. 

“Someone who doesn't fucking pretend or lie.”

As quickly as they had fluttered closed under the caress, as quickly Adam's eyes snapped open. “I don't pretend, or lie,” he quickly retorted, and watched Nigel's soft smile push further up those sharp cheeks.

“I know you don't, gorgeous,” he hummed his breath, and Adam felt the nerves in his stomach replaced with a wild warmth that left him panting through his nostrils.

He knew he'd easily let himself be distracted by the touch of those warm fingers, but there was more. 

“I... I don't say the right things, Nigel,”Adam said, as he pulled himself away from the embrace. “I forget to say nice things, or... or to ask how you're feeling.”

He looked back, as Nigel's fingers fell from his hair.

“I didn't tell Beth I loved her,” he said, his lips twitching at the memory. “...and she got sad.”

He had felt incompetent, without understanding exactly why. 

That had only made him feel more incompetent. 

Adam sucked one cheek between his teeth as he looked at Nigel's star scar.

“I don't want to make you sad.”

Nigel's scar barely looked like a star when he frowned too deep. And his mouth hid his teeth behind his lips. It would be worse than Beth, Adam knew.

Nigel's hands came to cup his jaw, and Adam leaned into the touch as he watched Nigel look at him with thick honey stirring in his gaze. Then, he shook his head, knitted his brows, with a smile still in place.

“You say everything, darling,” Nigel said, full of bright disbelief. “I've never met a more open fucking book than these stargazing eyes and those mouthwatering, pink berry lips.”

A thumb brushed over Adam's bottom lip, and his jaw slackened in response. Oh. Pink berry lips...

Nigel's fingers knotted in his hair, not forcing eye-contact, but keeping him close. “You don't have to use this fucking cheesy bullshit to tell me anything, baby,” he muttered happily. “That's not who you are.”

Adam watched the smoothened star before he trailed back to caramel honey. Nigel's fingers ran down the tendrils of his neck, and the pressure was enough for Adam's mouth to open further.

Nigel would give great massages, he thought. Better than... 

\- “You asked me to come in that first time we met,” Nigel said, his voice a husk crack. “Fucking cooked me a decent meal, talked to me about your problems and asked me to meet you in the place you like to clear your head...”

Adam's eyes didn't blink, as they followed down to the pull of Nigel's lips. They opened, releasing a chuckle.

“You don't like social situations, baby, yet you keep fucking asking me back.”

The grin that opened wide made Adam smile in return. “You're not a social situation, Nigel,” he said, and meant it. Nigel wasn't that heavy feeling in his stomach he felt every time he had to perform something interactive with someone else.

He didn't perform.

“No, I'm fucking not,” Nigel said, looking 'pleased as punch', as Adam remembered the expression. Nigel shrugged his shoulders, his fingers falling to Adam's hands.

“So, I'm not fucking Beth, alright?” he said, widening his eyes into a pointed stare that Adam didn't shake off. “I don't need you to light me fucking candles, call me Tootsy-roll or buy me flowers and negligees,” he scoffed, squeezing Adam's fingers with his. “I'd rather be the one doing that instead.” 

Adam looked at Nigel's broad, short fingernails. “You're going to call me Tootsie roll?” he asked, one eyebrow arching up. He wasn't opposed to other nicknames Nigel was using for him, but perhaps he would have to draw a line at...

“-Or buy you a fucking negligee, if you prefer, darling,” Nigel hummed, inching forward on the couch until their foreheads brushed. “Blue, to match those gorgeous eyes.”

Nigel's gaze flickered down, as Adam felt the scar pressing against his own skin. “I just need you to... fucking... want me, Adam.”

The feeling of that scarred skin was exciting. Warm and thick. He really, really did like Nigel.

He would miss him, should he leave.

“What if I'm not good at gay sex?” he swallowed, the last nag of doubt poking in his belly. “What if it doesn't work?” Adam felt his cheeks starting to heat. “What if we don't enjoy it?” His nostrils itched for another whiff of Nigel's scent. “Will we still be friends?” Fingers came to rest against Nigel's chest. “Can we still see each other for other things?”

Ocean blue eyes lifted to the maple syrup swirl, closer than ever before. His fingers were grasped, cradled in Nigel's clutch as he hummed with a deep rumble from his throat. “You'll have me however you fucking want me, darling,” he breathed, leaning in to bury his nose behind Adam's ear. “But I'm pretty fucking confident that this is gonna fucking work.”

Adam's lashes fluttered, as the tip of Nigel's nose grazed the skin below his earlobe. “W-why?” he asked, breathing deep.

Nigel chuckled against his ear. “You don't remember that kiss?” he asked, and goosebumps broke out on Adam's skin.

Yes. Yes, he remembered.

Tilting his head up, Nigel met him in the middle. Their lips met in a soft press, releasing, and pressing again. A little sliver of tongue coaxed Adam further open, before he fell in Nigel's embrace, meeting him full on as they pushed together.

Yes, he remembered very, very well.

Nigel groaned into his mouth, and fingers slid up Adam's sides, hooking in his clothes and pawing at his back. Adam's hands were grasping Nigel's hair, as he surrendered completely to the slide of their mouths. 

Hot and slick and just a little sharp.

Not sweet and soft and over-thought.

...like with Beth.

Nigel knew this was going to work, Adam knew, because they were good at this. They were good at this, together.

The fear in his belly fell, away, because Nigel was right. They were really, really good at this.

“Fuck, baby, come here,” Nigel pulled at him, trying to get him to straddle his lap. But Adam didn't let himself be lifted onto Nigel's thighs as they kissed. He knew what it would lead to.

Adam had seen the rutting in the videos. He had seen the rubbing together and the tight hands around two cocks, kissing mouths and rolling hips. And it had looked really nice.

But that was not what he had wanted to try first. He was curious about something else, more.

“I want to give you a blow job,” he panted, pulling back from Nigel's mouth, who gasped in a big gulp of air.

Adam knew he was, as his therapist had explained to him, too straight-forward with social interactions. Uncensored. Socially awkward and direct.

But with Nigel, that never seemed to be a problem.

“Fuck,” the man choked, grasping at the back of the couch as he pushed his hips a little closer to the edge. “Ok. Fuck, yeah of course, darling.”

His eyes were glazed, his pelvis tilted up, and there was a lostness about him that Adam found very lovely as he moved off the couch. 

“Ok,” he breathed, trying to keep his own hands steady. “Please use my bathroom to clean yourself, and then we can move to my bedroom.”

Adam rose to his feet, a little unsteady, and watched Nigel blink up with rounding eyes. “...Clean... myself?” he asked – a little, confused crease between his brows.

Wasn't that how...? Adam had assumed...

_He_ had always...

“Wash your penis,” he explained. He had read about sex and personal hygiene in an online article once. “That way, it will be less likely there will be loose hairs, dust petals from your clothes, or odors and tastes. Therefore the experience will be more pleasant for me.”

Nigel's eyes were still hazy, but his lips parted without a sound as he looked up at Adam, and remained seated on the couch.

Maybe this wasn't what people did, after all, Adam thought. Maybe he was screwing all of this up, and maybe Nigel would walk away for being asked to wash his penis.

Maybe it was considered as _rude_ as that time he had asked his co-worker to brush her teeth after lunch.

“I-I did some research. I-Is this...?” he swallowed, and stepped back when Nigel finally rose to swaying feet before him.

“No, darling, fuck no,” he said, an astonished smile on his face as he leaned in to nose along Adam's burning cheek. “I'm... I'm washing.”

The smiled opened to a grin, and a quick kiss fell to Adam's lips.

“I cleaned up too, before you came,”Adam admitted against Nigel's mouth, closing his eyes into the warmth. “My... well, everything that would be beneficial to be clean during penetration.”

He swallowed and felt gasped air stroking over his skin before Nigel pressed their foreheads together. 

“I-I'm sorry if I'm...”

But Nigel groaned almost pained against his lips to muffle his insecurities. “Adam, baby...” he broke, and against his hip, Adam felt the press of what was clearly the outline of Nigel's hard penis.

Oh. Adam had never felt another penis before.

“You could ask me to wax my entire body, cover myself in fucking feathers and cluck like a goddamn chicken. I wouldn't even fucking blink,” he rasped happily against Adam's ear, who shivered at the contact of their bodies pressed so close together.

“I have a bird allergy and I like your body hair,” he breathed, nuzzling against Nigel's skin. “So I would never ask you that.”

The chuckle vibrated through both their bodies.

“That's a fucking relief.”

**

Adam had really wanted to give a blow job. He had studied the techniques, and practiced on a toy. As difficult as it was for him to empathize with another person, it was much, much easier to do with another man than a woman. 

He had the same parts. Adam knew what felt good.

So he wasn't as nervous as he had imagined when he had sunken down between Nigel's legs on the blue bedroom carpet.

Yes, Nigel's penis was different. He was uncut, he was as big as those of the men in the videos, and veins slid thick and full along the shaft. Freshly washed, but still with the scent of musk and moisture that dribbled helplessly from the slit.

But it was attached to a happy, panting Nigel, and for some reason, that made it much less intimidating.

“Adam, fuck... y-you're driving me crazy, gorgeous,” Nigel whined, sounding close to crying as Adam did nothing but study him with curious eyes and fingers. Encouraged by pleads and still fully clothed in front of a naked Nigel, Adam dipped his head to run his nose along the soft hair of Nigel's lower belly, and enjoyed the feeling of warm fur like he had secretly longed to do ever since he had seen that hair peek from under Nigel's clothes.

“It's okay, Nigel,” he said, remembering it was good to reassure your partner, before he stretched his neck and folded his wet lips around the tip of Nigel's cock head.

“Fuck. Jesus. Fuck.”

Adam's mouth stretched far and wide to fit all of the head inside, and a hand grasped franticly at Adam's shoulder as Nigel gurgled profanities. 

“Baby, Adam, oh fuck, shit...”

It sounded encouraging, still, and Adam moved to fold his hand along the part of Nigel's penis that he couldn't fit inside his mouth, pumping along with upward strokes as he took as much as he could between his lips, and suckled.

Like drinking from a big, thick straw, the video had instructed.

“Adam... Adam... A-A-am”

His broken name was now a repeated stream from Nigel's gasping lips, and Adam's eyes opened big and blue on the man on the bed.

“Are you trying to get my attention or are these proclamations of passion?” he asked, allowing the hard, wet tip to slip from his mouth.

Nigel's eyes were wide and blown and he franticly shook his head.

“Passion, baby, passion. Fuck, please don't stop.”

His groan was loud and wild as Adam placed his mouth back on Nigel's shaft, using his tongue to lick along veins and rub beneath the spongy head.

“That's so good, gorgeous. So fucking good, baby,” Nigel babbled, sounding lost as he flexed his fingers against Adam's skin and hair. Wanting to squeeze and pull, Adam realized, but not wanting to startle him. 

That was nice.

“Oh, Adam, gorgeous, if you could see yourself....”

Nigel's voice was sandpaper rough around the edges, and beneath Adam's hands, the hairy thighs quivered around the tight muscles.

The taste was something Adam had had reservations about. He had never tasted the skin of a penis, but he had only once performed oral sex on Beth, and that had been... too different, in both texture and taste, to be a pleasant experience for him.

But Nigel's penis tasted like... like, Nigel. He was a little salty, musky, a bitter tinge but also still smelled like outside, grass, sweat and mint. Adam didn't mind it at all.

He let his mouth slip off once more, and looked back to the wreck of a man above.

“I did some research, and I will let you orgasm in my mouth if you want to,” he said, and watched Nigel's eyes snap wide open. “...Fffuu.” Just as Adam reached back to lower his mouth and continue the blow job, Nigel's hand came down to hold him back, as he folded a quick, squeezing hand around the tip of his penis.

“Oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckkkkk,” was the stream of sound that followed, as Adam withdrew his own hand from Nigel's shaft, and looked up at him in puzzled surprise. Nigel's forehead was furrowed, his face was bright red and his eyes were squeezing tight, and...

Oh. 

Nigel was trying not to orgasm.

After a moment of what seemed tight concentration, Nigel panted, and took his hand off his cock.  
“That was fucking close, baby,” he chuckled, raw and rough, as one hand came to stroke wholly over Adam's hair. “When you fucking talk like that I...”

A long exhale through Nigel's lips followed, and Adam watched Nigel's still full erection twitch against his belly before he blinked up. “But, I told you you could...” he started, still a little confused. Nigel instantly shook his head.

“Oh baby, I know,” he said, a big smile stretching on his gleaming face. “But despite feeling like a youngster in love around you, I'm not twenty fucking five anymore.”

Arms came down to pull at Adam, until he was straddling Nigel's lap on the bed. Face to face, Nigel pulled him into a messy kiss before whispering against his mouth: “I want to make love to you until every fucking star falls from the galaxy.”

Their mouths met in soft, wet kisses as Adam's shirt was pulled up and over his head.

“That's not pos-...”

Nigel silenced him with a pull on Adam's bottom lip. “I want to fuck you, Adam,” he breathed, and Adam felt his own hips jerk inside his jeans.

Oh.

He wanted that too. He wanted that a lot.

“Yes. Yes, please,” he sighed, as Nigel fumbled with the button of his jeans. Syrup eyes ran hungrily over Adam's chest, smooth, lean, pink and pale, as Nigel's hands tried to wriggle the denim over Adam's hips.

“Oh baby, fucking look at you,” he moaned obscenely when Adam moved back to shake the jeans over his feet, and folded the pants and shirt to quickly place them on the chair behind him. He wouldn't clear them away right now. He would do it right after.

Right now, he needed something else much, much more.

Adam was naked, hard en flushed as he sat before Nigel, who seemed to have lost the ability to speak, gaping at Adam as if in some sort of trance. Along the slit of his penis, a pearly drop was pushing up from the little hole.

“Fucking, godlike, fucking angel, baby, holy fuck,” was among the stream of words that were murmured from those open lips, and Adam bit his tongue as he stepped back between Nigel's strong, hairy legs.

It was... really nice to feel admired.

“I fingered myself before I messaged you,” he said, his own voice a little unsteady, “but it might be a good idea for you to see if I'm ready.”

Anal sex was not something Adam had practiced with a partner, but he was well aware of what the required steps were to make it pleasurable for both partners. “There's lubricant on the nightstand.”

Big hands were reaching for him, trembling and desperate to touch, as Adam let himself be gently pulled in against Nigel. “Dolphin, fucking smooth,” he heard him whisper, and smiled when Nigel's hands ran down his chest with adoration. His eyes were so big, his chest flushed bright and his penis an almost painful-looking purple.

Oh. Adam had never seen someone look so aroused before. He had never felt this aroused himself either.

Not with...

But with Nigel...

Adam was so overtaken by his lust, he nearly forgot a most important lesson from the article.

“We need to use protection, unless you have a clear STD test on you,” he said, quickly gesturing to a paper sheet beside the lubricant. “I took one, yesterday.” Their noses nearly touched when he turned back, looking right into Nigel's bewildered expression. “I never had unprotected sex, but I wanted to show you I'm without any sexually transmitted diseases.”

Nigel's breathing remained elated as his hands came to wholly cup Adam's bare ass cheeks. “I'm getting one done, baby,” he quickly assured, his voice stuck in his throat and his fingers jerking on his flesh. “As soon as... fuck, I'll do it today.”

There was a quick kiss as Nigel's hands stroked shakily up Adam's bare back. The gentle caress felt so good, it made him hum against Nigel's mouth. “Yes,” Adam breathed. “We could go for ice-cream, after. There a shop on the corner.”

The chuckle against his neck was wet. “That's a fucking brilliant idea,” Nigel sniffled against his skin. “Now, come here, you fucking perfect boy.” 

Adam squealed as he was rolled onto his back on the bed. Nigel was on him in an instant, fingers following the curve of his throat as he placed himself between Adam's knees, and started to kiss him on his lips and cheeks. They pressed close, arms embracing, as their mouths met with sweet nips and their limbs folded around the other.

“Ohh, Nigel.”

A hard penis came to slide beside his own, and Adam's hips buckled up at the friction as Nigel grunted against his neck. His body was big, covering Adam with strong, warm flesh, and for the first time he could remember, Adam felt himself surrendering into the arms of someone else.

“Oh fuck, Adam.”

Fingers rubbed along Adam's pink nipples, and followed the lines of his ribs.

“You are so... fucking...”

Adam wondered if Nigel was crying, as tight as his voice was sounding, and as hard as his hands were shivering. Their hips slotted again, and Nigel reached up to stroke Adam's hair as they rolled their hips in unison. Sliding their hard cocks together in a way that made Adam's toes curl.

“You are a fucking miracle.” Their lips kissed softly as their erections slid against their bellies. “A dream.” Soft, but it was intense. More than Adam had been able to imagine. “...a fucking siren, calling me home.”

And Nigel was vocal, which made Adam feel happy. Vocal was good. Communication was important, the video had said.

His nose inhaled against Nigel's ear, and he moaned at the scent and feel of the man's hairy belly sliding over the sensitive head of his penis. He was so close, it should have felt invasive, but instead Adam only wanted more.

“I'm just Adam,” he moaned, as his own, pink cock started smearing wet drops along Nigel's tanned skin. Nigel purred against his chin. 

“You fucking well are, baby,” he said with such content it made Adam's chest feel tight.

They exchanged kisses as their bodies slid together, and Adam followed his hands along Nigel's strong back as the man dipped lower, sliding down the length of his body. And as much as Adam missed that friction on his cock, he was quickly rewarded with a hot tongue on his nipples, his sternum, down his belly and dipping into the frail trail of hair below his navel.

“Ohh, that feels so good, Nigel,” he moaned, ranking nails over Nigel's shoulders and twisting fingers in his hair. Foreplay was about the erogenous zones, he knew, but the journey Nigel made down his body was filled with exploration, worship and pleasure, rather than strategy. It was made from joy, serving them both.

Fingers trailed down his sides as Adam felt Nigel's lips traveling to his pink, cut penis, curving against Adam's hip. 

“You've got the most gorgeous cock I've ever seen, baby,” Nigel praised him whole-heartedly sentimental as he buried his nose in the V of his thighs. “Everything about you is just so goddamn ravishing.”

And as Adam felt the compliment curl his fingers into Nigel's hair, he forced out a stuttering cry when Nigel took his cock into his mouth with one, big swallow.

“Ohh, Nigel, wait, wait,” he moaned, swatting at Nigel as he started to lick along the sides of him like an ice-cream cone. “I-If you still want to penetrate me, you should...”

Nigel hummed around his shaft, causing Adam's head to fall back to his pillow and his hips to buckle. In the same instant, two large fingers traveled over Adam's drawn up balls, and found the pink, tight little hole below.

“Oh I know where to go, angel,” Nigel muffled as he kissed the skin of Adam's thighs. “I just want to taste every fucking inch of you.”

Adam's brow dipped at the panted comment. Every inch of him. No, no there was simply no time. Right now, Adam was very, very aroused, and what he wanted was to have penetrative sex with Nigel more than anything else.

“Please finger me, Nigel, so I'm ready for penetration,” he begged shamelessly, and Nigel's moan against the skin of his scrotum was enough for his hips to jump again.

“Fuck yes, baby.”

Then, Nigel lifted himself to sit back, and directly looked down on where Adam was very, very exposed. Before there was even time to feel self-conscious, those blown eyes rolled back, and Nigel's hand flew back to his own erect penis once again.

“Jesus, fuck, Adam.”

There was another moment where more profanities followed each other rapidly, but Nigel didn't climax, and Adam smiled proudly up at him. 

It was their first time, which was often littered with errors and fumbling and lots of embarrassment, he had read. But they were doing so well.

“Adam...”

Wiping off sweat, Nigel quickly leaned over for a kiss before he reached for the lubricant that was spread onto two of his fingers.

“You'll be the fucking death of me,” was whispered sweetly into Adam's mouth before Nigel sat back again, and bit his lip as he stared at Adam's hole.

He didn't mean that literally, Adam knew. It was an expression people used to tease each other.

“Alright, angel,” a finger touched his opening, coaxed at the ring of muscles, and slid into Adam's body without further warning. An easy, slick slide.

“Ohhh,” despite his previous preparations, Adam felt he was tight around the digit, and Nigel bit his lips so hard Adam could see the dent into the cracking skin.

“You're already squeezing me so good,” Nigel moaned helplessly as he pumped his finger in and out of Adam. His eyes were glued to the movement between Adam's parted legs, and started to color a little red around the rim.

“Nigel, please,” he panted. Even having prepared himself with an above-average sized dido, he felt full around that thick, calloused finger. But Adam knew he could take more, and the desire to see Nigel's face once he entered him was too great to be patient.

It was all about relaxation, comfort and arousal, the article had said.

“I can take another,” he encouraged him, tilting his hips up in invitation as Nigel groaned like some sort of wild animal. 

“Goddammit, Adam.” Another finger was added, and Adam whined as he squeezed around the bigger intrusion. 

“Yes, crook your fingers until you...” he started to instruct Nigel, who wasted no time crooking his fingers up before Adam had even finished the sentence and...

”Ooohhhhh, Nigel, ohhhhh yes yes rub me there... that's my prostate.”

Adam had found his own prostate, but the angle had been difficult and his own fingers were not as long and rough and...

“That feels so gooddd.”

Nigel's fingers filled him so well as Adam pressed back down, welcoming more pressure on his insides as he looked up into Nigel's face. His brow was gleaming, his eyes were shining black and his mouth was slack and panting as he looked from where his fingers entered Adam, back up to Adam's pleasure-filled face.

“There you go, baby,” he encouraged roughly with a voice almost lost in the rasp. “Fuck. I'm gonna come from just watching you...” One hand back to squeezing the head of his own penis. “...fucking feeling you, like this.”

Adam clenched when Nigel rubbed him just right, and both let out a desperate moan. The pressure on the bundle of nerves inside Adam felt odd, almost. Like he needed to pee, push out the fingers and bear down hard all at once. Combined, it just exploded in too highly intrusive pleasure.

“I would prefer it if you didn't,”Adam panted. He would so very much like to have actual intercourse before their first sexual encounter ended. “But I would like to try another finger.” 

Nigel's hot breath panted against Adam's naked thigh as he leaned in closer. “Fuck, yes. I know, baby. I'm...”

Another blunt finger pressed in, and Adam's body adjusted more easily this time.

A kiss brushed his inner thigh and Nigel whimpered almost pained against the skin. “I feel like a fucking teenager,” he muffled before another kiss fell to the base of Adam's bright-pink cock. “I've never seen such bright fucking beauty in my whole, goddamn life.”

Adam's belly spasmed. Nigel's lost words and probing fingers were already near too-much, and the nose that was nuzzling along the length of his penis was only making it harder to control himself.

Nigel was... Nigel was so good to him, and he really, really wanted him closer.

More than anyone. More than ever.

“I think I'm ready,” he panted, stilling his hips on Nigel's fingers as he reached for him with his hands. “Come up here.”

And Nigel was on him. Their faces aligned, and sweet, pink kisses were shared between their lips. Kisses that were tender, but still rougher and heavier than any kisses Adam had shared with anyone else. Ones that stole your mind, sucked you in, rather than made you think.

Nigel settled on top of him, between his legs, and Adam watched the flushed, watery, trembling mess of a man above with a real tight, real feeling of happiness. 

Nigel's smile was everlasting sharp, despite the doughy softness in his eyes. “I feel like I know you, angel,” he said, staring down at Adam, so close their noses brushed.

Adam smiled so wide his cheeks burned.

“I feel like you know me, too.”

Because Nigel never seemed to misinterpret his intentions. He never seemed to hear a different meaning in his words. Nigel made him feel normal and extraordinary, all at once.

Before Adam even had to instruct him, Nigel took the lubricant, the condom, and rolled the rubber along the shaft of his hard cock with slightly clumsy hands. A dot of lubricant, and he was positioning against Adam's entrance.

“Still ready, gorgeous?” Nigel asked, as Adam's quivering thighs came up against his sides. 

He was nervous, and he knew Nigel was too. He could actually read it in his face, which felt... exhilarating. Like finally having subtitles to your favorite foreign film.

“Yes. Please fuck me.”

...he had heard them say it in the movies.

And Nigel was pressing in, wider, deeper, slowly... until his breathing hitched, his eyes squeezed tight. “Oh fuu... gorgeous, oh baby, darling, Adam, Adam, oh Adam...”

Adam held his breath as he pushed back, welcoming Nigel into his body with eyes closed in concentration and nerves flaring with painful pleasure. Skin against hairy, hot and sweaty skin.

It was good. It was very good.

Nigel's bare chest rubbed against his, and their bellies pressed close as Nigel sank all the way into Adam with a face that made it seem like he was choking blue and purple.

“Adam, Adam, Adam, fuck, baby, oh Jesus, Adam.”

There was lots of rambling as Adam held on tight, and surrendered to the stretch inside him. Further and wider than before. Lips were on his neck when he bared it, and Nigel's hips started to pump into him in a slow and careful yet unsteady pace.

Grazing his prostate, but leaving Adam in want and need of more.

Nigel's arms were bulging, his jaw was clenched and his sweat was falling in fat drops on Adam's skin. He was restraining himself. Adam saw it. Adam felt it. 

He was afraid of hurting him.

“Not slow,” Adam said, as he pushed his heels tighter into Nigel's skin. “Faster.”

There was a growl and a sharp, wet mouth on Adam's neck as Nigel dropped his full weight on top of him, and instantly started rutting beyond his own control. “F-... I-...Y-...Y-you're fucking killing me, baby. Fuck, fuck, fuck...” 

Adam gasped as the thick cock inside his body rubbed fiercely along his prostate, and he pressed his knees closer to Nigel's sides as he rolled his hips with every thrust. “Ohh. Oh, that's really good, Nigel,” he cried, lashes fluttering wildly. “Your cock feels really good inside me.”

It really, really did. Adam's nerves were on fire, and any bite from the stretch was lost in the raw claws of absolute aching pleasure.

On top of him, Nigel's body clenched hard as his hands gripped the sheets, and his face roared muffled cries into the pillow.

“Adam,” he practically scolded as he rocked his hips forward in short, quick bursts. “Don't you fucking even...” - A pained moan followed, and for a short moment, the hips stilled completely as Adam clung harder to Nigel's frame.

Little bites of warning littered Adam's throat and shoulders. “Y-you're driving me fucking w-wild. I'm... I'm...”

But Adam whined pitifully at the halt, and Nigel's hoarse voice was lost as he drove back into him with an almost punishing pace.

They kissed again, thick and wet with both their tongues in either mouth, as Nigel fucked Adam's prostate with a maddening friction.

Adam's hands were in Nigel's hair as he bucked his hips up. “Ohh, you're doing this so well,” he moaned shamelessly against Nigel's ear. “You are very good at sex, Nigel.”

Nigel's hips stuttered, making the head of his cock graze hard on the little spot that made Adam see stars. In response, his entire body convulsed, and his insides clenched tight around Nigel's erection.

Nigel, in turn, let out the sound of a wounded puppy. “Squeeze me like that one more time and I'm going to fucking propose to you, darling,” he whimpered, sputtered and choked as Adam tried to relax himself around Nigel.

“No,” he breathed, shaking his head against the pillow. “No, Nigel, that's too soon.”

The snort against his cheek was wet and loud as Nigel mouthed at his skin; “Keep doing that and there's more that's gonna be described as 'too fucking soon',” he snarled dangerously before he folded his arms around his back, pushed up with his calves and hauled Adam into his lap.

Adam yelped, suddenly finding himself on top of Nigel, while still deeply connected. The new angle was tried out with a quick roll of his hips, and he instantly felt the reward of this new control. 

“Ohhh, that's really good too.”

Nigel's big arms came to surround him fully, as he stroked them down Adam's back and sides with feverish hands. Hot breath cursed and panted against Adam's neck, before lips came to press wet kisses that vibrated with a sob-like moan. “Adam.”

Adam had seen this position in the movies, and it had spiked his curiosity. Now, he was hooked as he rode Nigel, rolling his hips, holding on to Nigel's shoulders, and saw those mesmerized maple eyes slide up and down his body.

“F-fuck, gorgeous,” Nigel mouthed against his fingers. “I want nothing more than to fucking look at your naked body forever.”

Nigel's hips pushed up, meeting his thrust down with a sharp press on his prostate until Adam whimpered pleasure.

“Y-you can't,” he breathed, curling his fingers into Nigel's damp chest hair. “W-we both have jobs.” 

There was a chuckle against his chin, as Nigel held him tighter, moved him faster, quivering and breathing hard beneath him. “I-I'll just look extra hard whenever I can, darling.”

To demonstrate, Nigel pressed their foreheads together, and cupped Adam's face with both his hands. Their eyes connected, as Adam bore down on the cock inside of him. 

“You make me smile,” he panted, his lips struggling between different shapes of happiness and ecstasy. 

Nigel's laughter almost sounded defeated. “I fucking adore you,” he growled, kissing every stretch of skin he could reach.

Nigel's shoulders shook as Adam lifted higher, took him deeper, rode him with a sharper tilt from his hips. “You fucking angel,” he choked against Adam's jaw. “You divine fucking creature.”

Adam released a high squeak when big hands pulled at his back, curling his spine until his cock rubbed against the strong, hairy softness of Nigel's stomach.

“You exceptional little wood-nymph,” Nigel purred, as one hand came to lie on the shaft of Adam's wet, desperate cock.

Adam's moan was accompanied by a sharp snort. “That's ridiculous, Nigel,” he said, squinting his eyes at the stream of endearments that made his heart feel larger and full.

And then they rocked, harder, deeper, as their mouths met again in hungry kisses. Adam had kissed Beth, but mostly before the sex. Not during. There had been too much to do, too much to think about, during. 

With Nigel, he didn't have to think at all.

“Nigel,” Adam gasped, when Nigel's hand rubbed along the length of his penis with nothing more than a light stroke. “Touch me more,” he begged him as he slammed his hips down. “Fuck me, harder.”

He was so close to orgasm, he didn't know how long he could last. Nigel, Adam knew, had been near climax since they'd started, and he watched him roll his eyes back as his hips started thrusting up in a now free and merciless pace.

“Oh fuck, Adam, Adam, Adam...”

His name was an endless stream on Nigel's lips as the hand on his erection tightened, and pumped up with every thrust. Nigel's penis slid whole and rough along Adam's prostate, and he soon was wailing and crying out his pleasure, despite having never been loud during sex before.

The neighbors might hear them, which only filled Adam with pride. Good sex. He was having good sex.

The hand rubbing his pink, wet penis made his balls draw up really close to his body. The pounding sensation inside his stomach coiled until his toes curled in. Adam was lost in the feeling, the sound, the scent, the feel of Nigel, and the way his body truly enjoyed being pulled and pushed and held by his big, rough hands as words of grunted adoration burst like bubbles all around him.

“I'm going to orgasm,” he whined a warning, and he felt his ass clench, his thighs quiver as Nigel released a raw growl and only pounded into him harder. Everything inside was tight and hot as the sounds of panting breaths, slapping skin and wet slides filled the air around them.

“Fuck fuck fuck yes,” Nigel hissed lost against his ear. “C-come on my cock, Adam, baby, please... fuck.”

Adam arched, his back pressing against the arms that held him as a thundering wave of pleasure overtook every nerve and every vein beneath his skin. His insides pulsed hard and deep as semen shot up against Nigel's belly and chest.

“Ohhhohhh, N-N-Nigel.” It was blinding, and nails sunk into Nigel's flesh as Adam rode hard, hard hard down on Nigel's cock and up into his hand. His body convulsed, shuttered and pulsed on and around Nigel, whose grip tightened on him within seconds of Adam's wrecking orgasm.

“Goddammit that's so fucking hot,” Nigel wheezed against him. “You're so fucking hot, baby. Fuck, fuck, pula mea, fuck...”

Adam's head was pulled to Nigel with spasming fingers as their temples pressed together, and Nigel's rambling mouth opened hot on the skin beneath Adam's ear.

A silent cry into Adam's skin shook them both as Nigel broke, holding onto Adam's face and spasming up and up and up into his body. Adam's orgasm only flared longer under the quick, hard thrusts into his overstimulated body, as his cock leaked helplessly with more seed while Nigel released into the condom that filled warm inside Adam's body.

Nigel's words were lost in his panted breaths, his pulling muscles, and for a moment, their beating hearts were all Adam could hear. Beating, racing hearts that sounded like one... until Nigel's raspy voice broke the silence with:

“Jesus, Mary, fucking Christ...” 

He gasped, finding his breath to sob against Adam's ear who took his digging nails from Nigel's skin, before stroking through the damp, sweaty hair.

“N-Nigel? A-are you okay?” he stuttered, feeling the twists and pulls in Nigel's body, as his chest and stomach jerked against him.

Nigel whimpered, his body jerking as he said: “I-I-I think I'm still coming.”

He pulled back enough for Adam to see black eyes, rimmed by thin, bright gold, and felt his own hips jerk hard around the cock that was still deeply within him.

“Oh...” he breathed hard. “I-I think I a-am too.”

They shuddered together, as Nigel mumbled words that Adam could not decipher in any language. Adam's cock was still trapped against Nigel's sticky belly, that spasmed against his skin and caused waves of a near-intolerable bliss to rock them even further from recovery.

It was only when Nigel's penis was slipping from his body, that Adam lifted himself off, and flipped his useless muscles on the bed with a deeply sated groan.

“Mmmm.”

He wasn't sure Nigel had tied off the condom before he tossed it in the trash. Adam even forgot to ask him if he had. Instead, he stared at the ceiling with hazy eyes, and felt the pleasurable throbbing of his body as Nigel curled up by his side, and buried his nose in Adam's neck.

“Holy motherfu-...” Nigel breathed, before the words were cut off by a hearty but wild chuckle. Arms folded around Adam, and a leg was pushed in between his.

“I'm...” Nigel breathed against Adam's cheek with shaky lips. “I'm so fucking....”

Adam inhaled that earthy scent, and felt all of himself fall calm. His bones, his heart, his head...

“Speechless?” he asked, smiling sleepily when Nigel didn't finish his thoughts.

Nigel hummed, deep and low as he stretched himself even closer around Adam. “Mmmm, baby...” he moaned, kissing up the skin of Adam's jaw with lazy, needy nips, until their mouths met in soft, sticky kisses that pulled at their lips.

A deep sigh broke them apart, as their noses brushed in a nuzzle.  
“That was the best sex I've ever had,” Adam spoke honestly, as he stroked his nose along a sharp cheekbone. “Beth didn't have me make those noises, or swear, or made me orgasm nearly that hard.” 

Nigel's laughter was muffled against Adam's skin, before his arms squeezed him tighter. With a short roll to the side, Nigel ended up on his back, and pulled Adam to snuggle against the pit of his arm. 

Adam allowed him to be handled like that. 

Adam really liked it.

“Fuck, gorgeous...” Nigel sighed, and Adam's nose brushed over gray chest hair. “I can't feel my legs.”

Adam's eyes lifted to see the underside of Nigel's chin, sharp teeth, nostrils.

“In a fucking good way,” Nigel quickly reassured him, and Adam watched those fluffy lips smile. The upper lip stuck out a little further, and Adam wanted to taste it again.

“I don't see in what way that would be good,” he said, as he reached up to capture that lip between his, sucking it into his mouth before placing a quick kiss on the curve. “But I know you make me feel very good, Nigel.” Adam watched the lip curl. “You are really good at having sex, and your body is very attractive.”

Compliments after sex were good, he had read. But for these, Adam didn't even have to try.

Nigel looked down on him, eyes gleaming, lips parting around that smile. “Adam,” he sighed, as a tender hand came to stroke the bare skin of Adam's back. “Magnificent, fucking angel...”

Adam felt his skin flush again, despite his flesh still feeling heated from the sex they had shared.  
“I also like your... personality,” he continued, as he placed his chin back on Nigel's chest. “It's not just your body and sex skills.”

It was also good to tell your partner they were appreciated for more than their looks and the sex they provided. 

And Nigel was a lot more.

Nigel understood him.

“I like you.”

The words ghosted along the skin of Nigel's nipple, and Adam watched it tighten as Nigel's chest stuttered with a fragile breath.

“You have my entire heart, fucking gorgeous prince,” Nigel whispered tight and deep. Adam smiled wide, his teeth grazing Nigel's skin.

“You have ridiculous nicknames for me,” he said, as he snuggled deeper against Nigel's shoulder, pressing his nose to the tendrils of his neck.

It was silent after that, as they enjoyed the soft warmth, and the blissful glow that stroked over their bodies.

Minutes and minutes had passed, before Adam heard the drag of a running nose, and looked up to see a tear-streak from Nigel's eye to his ear.

“Why are you crying?” Adam asked, stretching his neck to see him better. Tears after sex... he hadn't really understood that part of the text.

Nigel laughed again, and more tears spilled. One flat hand stroked up and down Adam's shoulder,  
“Because I promised myself not to fall in love so hard and deep and fast again...” he said, his voice soft over the saliva he swallowed. “...instead I just fell fucking harder than ever before.”

There was a wet chuckle, and the arm around him squeezed tighter as Adam reached for kisses around his smiling lips.

“I like that,” he said, because he did.

He liked it that Nigel liked him so much. He liked it, because he liked Nigel. 

He _fell fucking harder than ever before_ , for Nigel too.

“Does that make us boyfriends?” Adam sighed, as he rolled to his back. Shoulders brushed, and legs tangled. “I wouldn't want you and I to be dating other people.”

Fingers intertwined, and Nigel huffed. “I'm yours, angel. You can have me however you fucking like,” he said. “You know I'd marry you on the fucking spot if you'd let me.”

Adam's face was starting to feel sore from all the smiling he was doing. People had always told him he didn't smile much.

He was smiling a whole lot these days.

“There is no minister here to wed us,” Adam said, his own eyes lowering to their touching hands, where Nigel caressed his fingers with his. “Also, I don't believe in the institution of marriage.”

Nigel scratched his stomach, and Adam only now noticed his own semen still drying on the man's skin. 

“Of course you don't, baby,” Nigel told him. “You're fucking smart.”

Reaching for some wet tissues by the side of his bed, Adam's eyes fell to the paper sheet on his nightstand.

“Let's get that STD test and have sex without a condom,” he said, as he started to wipe away the traces of his own orgasm from Nigel's warm, sticky skin. “I think it's called bare-backing.”

If they weren't getting married, that could be considered a next step, Adam figured.

Nigel groaned, his fingers flexing in the sheets. “Please don't get the blood rushing back to my dick, gorgeous,” he said, sounding pained. “I might fucking faint if you do.”

Adam tossed the dirty tissue in the garbage can beside his bed. He used it almost exclusively for dirty tissues like these.

“We can go on dates,” he suggested, settling back on the bed. “We can have dinner and watch TV.” He rolled back beside Nigel, and watched how Nigel's nipples remained hard amongst the forest of gray hair. “We can walk to work together...”

Nigel stretched his body, like a big cat after a good meal. His penis was large, even when flaccid, and the skin was a darker shade of pink. Different than the paleness of Adam's.

“I just want to be with you as often as you'll allow me, stargazer,” he said, rolling his head back on the pillow. “As long as you don't make me miss you too fucking much.” His words were suddenly strained, as if he spoke them from a tight throat.

“Is that what you're afraid of?”Adam asked him, tilting his head to look at Nigel. Cigarette stained teeth bit into his lower lip. 

“I follow the love, remember?” Nigel said, with something that resembled a cough. “I know it makes me a little insane, but...” he dragged up his nose. “I know this time, it's the real fucking deal.”

Nigel turned his head, smiling almost shyly at him as he brushed a curl off of Adam's forehead. “I know I can be considered... _much_ ,” he said, using his free hand for air quotes. “But it's fucking beyond me, at this point.”

A kiss was placed on Adam's nose. “I'm needy for you, baby,” he confessed almost happily, before kissing one of Adam's cheeks. “So I just beg you for mercy on my fucking, hopeless heart.” 

A chuckle spread between them, as Adam pulled back to look at the star on Nigel's forehead. “Not hopeless,” he said, as he pushed aside falling strands. “If you're here, and I'm here too, why would your heart be hopeless?”

Nigel smiled, and the sight was radiant. Adam wanted to see it every day.

“We can be... serious boyfriends,” he said, considering the options as he curled back against Nigel's side. Marriage was off the table, but the ceremony was the only real problem Adam had with that. “Do you have a lot of stuff?” he asked, “I only have one spare room but I still have space in my dresser and...”

Beside him, the mattress bounced with a sudden weight being lifted. He turned his head to see Nigel, sitting on the the side of the bed, fully naked. His eyes were large, his lips parted.

“Do you fucking mean that?” he asked, his pink face stunned as he looked back at Adam over his shoulder, who stirred on the sudden, cooling space on the bed. 

Nigel blinked at him, moisture shimmering back in his eyes. “Did you really mean it, Adam?” he asked again, softer this time as Adam sat himself up with a puzzled expression.

“I thought your legs didn't work,” Adam said, as he looked at the scattered scars on Nigel's back.

They resembled different phases of the moon.

“And yes. I meant it.”

Nigel's sudden grin was sunny and bright as he started searching around for his clothes on the floor.

“I'm going to get my stuff, baby,” he said, pulling his shirt over his head as he reached for his underwear.

Adam blinked.

“You're moving in?” he asked, as he watched Nigel shimmy into his tight jeans.

He stood, turned, and offered Adam a hand, beckoning him to the side of the bed.

“I'm gonna get that fucking STD test, pack my bags and never spend another night without you,” he said, as he folded his arms around Adam's shoulders and kissed him on the top of his head. Pink and glowing and wrinkled with smiles.

“Okay?” he asked, when Adam looked up at him.

Adam nodded, before standing up, and placed a swift, smiling kiss to Nigel's lips. “Can we also get that ice-cream?” he asked, as Nigel's hands traced the curves of his behind.

Nigel was staying. Nigel was staying.

And Adam was happy.

“Abso-fucking-lutely, baby,” Nigel groaned against him, before gently squeezing one of Adam's ass cheeks.

Adam squeaked, before he turned to the chair that held his folded clothes.

“That's not a word, Nigel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to have entertained you guys. Thank you all so much for all the support, the comments, the kudo's, the kindness and the joy you have have brought me here! May our paths cross again in the future<3! All the best, and I love you!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it and that it made you smile a little! ^.^ More will follow soon, and I hope you will be back for it!


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